High School Trauma
by Hellbound-spirit
Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible...
1. The War Begins

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of an exchange student makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignifigant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

* * *

**CRASH!**

"Mmmh…?"

**BANG!**

"Ugh…"

**BAM!**

"…" The lump on the bed stirred slightly under the covers, pink hair just barely visible to the slanting rays of the sun. Stretching, she got up, rising into a sitting position on her light blue bedspread, and glittering emerald eyes began to crack open. Turning her head to look at her clock, her eyes widened and her face paled.

'_HOLY SHIT! I'M GONNA BE LATE FOR THE FIRST DAY BACK TO SCHOOL!'_ With that in mind, the pink haired teen sprang into action. She threw on a lacy new bra, some loose fitting camouflage cargo pants, a black tank top, and some black ankle-socks, and began her hastened morning procedures. Brushing her teeth in a rush, combing her hair, and running down the carpeted staircase, she grabbed her backpack, a bottle of Sunny D, and a piece of toast, munching on it distractedly.

'_Thank god that I live so close to the school_!' she thought as she rushed onto the dewy grass of Konahagakure High School. Sprinting across the grounds, she kept her eyes on her watch, not seeing anything else around her. "Oof!" she said as she bounced off of something. She looked up frantically and got to her feet, not so much as looking at who she'd bumped into, but as she was fading from view, she shouted. "Gomen nasai!" She didn't see as the person she'd rammed smirked at her.

"DAMMIT! OUTTA MY WAY!" she yelled at the crowd of people blocking off the hall. People heeded her. She had a reputation for letting her temper get the better of her, and when it did, anyone who was in her way ended up getting hurt, so they all squished together to allow her passage. She scurried through the massive clutter and practically swam through the mass of bodies as she dashed towards room 210. She reached her desk in the far-left of the classroom just as the bell rang. She sighed, putting her forehead down on the cool wood of her desk. She smiled weakly, wiping a hand over her brow as a look of triumph dominated her face. _'I made it! In your face, fucking school!'_

**-9:00 AM-**

"Hello, my eager students!" Said Kakashi as he stepped into the classroom. He was an hour late… **_AGAIN_**… "Pardon the lateness, but on the way to school, I had to stop my car to help an old lady cross the street." Everyone sweatdropped, and he scratched the back of his head in agitation.

"Kakashi-sensei, give it a rest!" came an annoying voice from the far right corner of the room.

"Naruto," Kakashi chided the arrogant blonde. "I **am** your teacher, as well as your elder, so you should at least show the proper respect." Everyone sweatdropped again.

Sakura sighed. "Kakashi-sensei, you haven't changed a bit…" she muttered, but he heard her anyway.

"I'll take that as a compliment, Sakura," Kakashi replied with a huge grin crinkling the folds of his face mask. "Well, anyway, we have a new student who transferred to this school from his old school for his second year of High School. You can come in now, and please introduce yourself to the class."

The door opened and a boy walked in. He had long hair that was a dark brown, a satin blend of fluid, liquid chocolate, and striking white eyes, with just the faintest hint of lavender. He wore a plain beige jacket and black pants, and a few girls started giggling about how hot he looked. He rolled his eyes. They would undoubtedly flock to him later, just like in every other school. "Hyuga Neji," he said gruffly, not bothering to say more before turning to his silver-haired teacher. Suddenly, a snort came from the back of the room, and it was followed by some loud laughter.

"Sakura," Kakashi began, noticing the girl as she clutched at her sides while laughing, "would you care to share with us what is so very amusing?" Neji cocked an eyebrow and smirked. He wanted to know what she found funny, too.

"He –gasp- is so –hahaha!- pretty! HA!" she managed to gasp out. Neji frowned, not liking that comment. All of the other girls sent Sakura death glares as her laughter ebbed away, but she waved her hand as though shrugging them all off.

"Well, Sakura," Kakashi started, again scratching the back of his head, "since you find Mr. Hyuga so funny… he will be sitting next to you in all classes for the remainder of the school year." Sakura stopped laughing and her jaw dropped.

"I don't want him next to me!" she yelled angrily. "The last thing I want to see when I come to school every day is Mr. Girly-man over there!" Neji glared at her, then smirked. He couldn't forget that unmistakable hair color… she had bumped into him on the way to school. He slunk over to her, sliding into his seat, and looked at her, smirking even more.

Sakura laid her head back on her desk and glared at him. "So…" Neji said casually. "You know my full name, so what's yours?" She glared at him even more intensely, but he kept on smirking.

"Not that it's any of your business," she snarled, "but if we're gonna be stuck next to each other all year, I might as well tell you. My name is Haruno Sakura." His smirk got even bigger and he locked his white-eyed gaze with her blazing green one.

"Very well, Haruno Sakura," he said smoothly. "I will personally ensure that this school year is a living hell for you."

"I'd like to see you try, Girly-man!" she said, amused with the fact that he thought she'd be easy prey. His smirk turned into a glare, and his hand shot out, grabbing her chin and forcing her to look at him. He leaned closer so that no one else could hear.

"Then the war…" he growled softly, "has already begun." He let her face go, and settled back into his seat properly. Sakura fumed.

_'How dare that Girly-man touch me!' _she raged inwardly. _'Well then, if all's fair in love and war, then I suppose all's fair when it's just the war part, too!'_ With that, they both began to plot silently.

* * *

Slighty revamped! Suprisingly, there wasn't too much for me to redo in this one. If you've never read High School Trauma before, welcome. Thanks for taking a look. This fic is almost nothing but random shitness, so proceed with caution. I'm still waiting for the test results, but this type of insanity may very well be contagious. You have been warned. Side effects may include, but are not limited to; development of a kickass split personality, shortness of breath, inability to breathe due to helpless bouts of laughter, an insatiable urge to take over the world, sudden craving for gummy bears and sharp and/or shiny things, and permanent or temporary insanity. For anyone who is returning to this fanfiction, welcome back. I've missed you.

For those of you who come here, seeing that the fic is under specific characters, I warn you, this fic exists almost solely for the purpose of being the random shit it is. However, where romance does happen to bloom, during the revamping process, it will be hot and heavy. If you are looking for Sasuke/Sakura, go somewhere else to satiate that hunger. Because Sasuke sucks, and in this fic, he will never get some. IMHO, he's a closet bisexual with a preference for men. And that's just gross. :D Proceed if you wish, but please keep all hands, feet, and... other appendages, inside the vehicle at all times.


	2. A New Enemy

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignifigant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

* * *

Sakura stared at Neji in annoyance. He had the nerve to sit at a computer all through brunch on the'badgerbadgerbager' site, listening to that fucking annoying song, while she was trying to get some work done! _'Hmph!'_ she thought hotly. _'Two can play at this game…'_ With that in mind, Sakura immediately went to the 'weebls-stuff' site, and went to /toons/annoying/ and started toplay the 'Annoying' song.

**'Oh my word, this tune is annoying, yes I know it's really annoying, I can't get this song out of my he-ead! Make it stop, this tune, it's annoying, I got to go to work in the morning,now I'm gonna be hummin' it in my be-ed!'**Neji's eyes started twitching. _'Dammit!'_ he thought frustraited. _'I can't beat that one! Unless…'_

He turned to Sakura and caught her gaze, and he smirked… very evily… weebls-stuff was typed into the address bar, and then he added /toons/choccy/. She looked at his screen, her face going pure white with horror, as the colorfully wrapped chocolate eggs began their dancing and singing. **'Who loves the chocolate? Everyone loves the chocolate! Nobody hates the chocolate, 'cuz everyone loves the chocolate!'** Sakura moaned, then picked up her notebook and started whacking herself on the forehead. Between bashings, you could here a muffled "Damn!" **WHACK** "It!" **WHACK** "All!"** WHACK**

Neji leaned towards her, and whispered softly. "I win this time, Haruno." "And I owe you for it Hyuga," she hissed, already feeling a major headache coming on. "You'll never get your revenge, Haruno." "I **will**, DAMN YOU!" He smirked and pulled away, gathering his things. "We'll see, Haruno. We'll see…"

'_PE! Finally!' _thought an ecstatic Sakura. _'Now I can get my payback! I can't wait to see what happens when he finds the little… "gifts"… I left him!'_ Sakura changed into her PE uniform, and sat on a bench, waiting patiently for the fun to begin.

"ARRGGHH! HARUNO!" Neji shouted as he ran out of the boy's locker room with her "presents" clinging to him. "GET THEM OFF ME!" he yelled, shaking her by the shoulders violently. She smirked.

"Why, Neji," she said, acquiring a hurt look. "They're just my little friends…" Her hurt look vanished as she dissolved into laughter as he tried to swat away her "friends". She snorted. "Who would've thought," she said gleefully, "that the great 'Hyuga Neji" would be so very terrified of itty bitty **_SNAILS_**!"

He ran back into the boy's locker room, and came out holding a packet of… **_SALT!_** "Why the hell do you have salt, Hyuuga?" Neji smirked triumphantly holding up the salt as though it were the holy grail.

"I have kept salt with me at all times," he said, completely unabashed. "I've always been suspicious of snails and their ruthless, dirty tricks!" Neji carefully tore the corner of the packet with his teeth, as though he were pulling the pin from a holy grenade, then slowly began to pour it on the defenseless snails. Sakura didn't care anymore, though. She'd already won this phase of the war. They were even, but that would change very soon… She rubbed her hands together as an evil grin made its way onto her face.

_'This,'_ she thought excitedly, _'will be fun…'_

The next day of class brought with it a few unexpected surprises, beginning with Kakashi's English class. Sakura was plotting, and Kakashi, being the perceptive pervert that he is, noticed that she was not paying any attention to the class's reading. "Sakura…" he said, his eyes never leaving his perverted 'Icha Icha Paradise', "Are you listening to me?" Sakura came out of her thoughts, her eyes snapping into focus as she forced a serious look onto her face.

"Hai, Kakashi-sensei," she replied. He smiled at her, and for some reason, it made her feel uneasy.

"Good," he said, still smiling, but not removing his gaze from his porno book. He flipped to a new page before continuing. "Then you'll be happy to know that we are getting a new, new student today. Now then, Neji, move over one seat to your right so that you're in the desk next to Naruto. Sakura, you scoot over to where Neji was sitting. The new student will sit to the left of you."

As Sakura pouted, and Neji smirked, they followed his instructions. "Wonderful," the silver haired sensei said, scratching the back of his head. "You may introduce yourself now." A boy with raven-black hair and eyes like twin abysses of onyx shuffled in, and girls scattered across the room began to drool mentally. He wore a dark blue shirt with a weird looking fan on his back, and he wore tan shorts.

"I am Uchiha Sasuke. Don't bug me, and we'll get along fine," he said coldly, glaring at his brand new fangirls. They paid no heed to his glares, and continued to swoon over him.

"Alright," Kakashi said quickly, his gut telling him that if this didn't stop soon, someone would end up hurt. "That's enough from the peanut gallery. Sasuke, if you would please go to your seat. It's on the left-hand side of the pink haired girl, whose name is Haruno Sakura. You can't miss it. At brunch, Ms. Haruno will give you a tour of the school, to give you a basic idea of the layout." Sakura groaned loudly. "What troubles you, Sakura?" Kakashi asked, a smile forming under his face mask.

"First you stick Mr. Girly-man next to me," she wailed, "and now I have to be stuck with Girly-man **AND** Pretty-boy? I mean look at him! He's got friggin pokeball or some shit on his back! Damn you sensei!"

Sasuke smirked and went to his seat. At least she was better than the other girls, who were sitting there with little hearts in their eyes, just staring at him. "I wouldn't be talking," he retorted after settling into his new residence on her left side. "Come on, honesty, how many girls have pink hair **AND** green eyes?" She stood up abruptly, hands banging on the desk.

"And what of it?" she snarled, venom lacing her words. "I was at war with Mr. Girly-man over here," she continued, indicating her white-eyed nemesis, "but I sure as hell wouldn't mind dealing with **_you_** as well, Pretty-boy!" "Is that a challenge?" he asked cockily, donning a superior smirk.

"It didn't take a genius to figure that out, nimrod!" She snapped. His smirk intensified.

"Pardon my ineptitude," he mocked. "I'm afraid that your indescribably horrifying face was clouding my thoughts." Her eyes got wide and her face contorted into a mask of rage, hate, loathing, disgust, and so much more. "It looks like I'm already winning, Pinky," Sasuke said. Sakura knew she was beat.

_'Damn him!'_ "Just you wait, Pretty-boy… Just you wait…" she said menacingly as she lay her head on the desk. Sasuke's smirk transformed into a half grin. _'Stupid girl! I'll crush her little pink ass to hell!'_

* * *

Trying to cut out most of my errors. And all of the "kami". It just doesn't fit, since almost no other japanese terms are used through the fic. It's really too bad that they don't let you use more than one punctuation point. Really takes the steam out of the angered questions.

(For anyone who doesn't already know this, **hai** means **yes**.)


	3. Some Friendly Advice

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

* * *

"Hey, Lazy-Ass Pineapple-Head!" Sakura called out to her friend Shikamaru, using the nickname she had given him when they had first met in third grade. He looked at her briefly, then went back to his infamous cloud-gazing. She walked over to him, and threatened to sit on him if he didn't get up his lazy ass and talk to her. He got up pretty damn quickly for such a lazy kid.

"What do you want, Sakura?" he asked, trying to keep the boredom out of his voice. She'd sat on him once, and the result had not been pretty… for him…

Sakura smiled brightly at him, but it was a creepy smile that he had learned to watch out for, seeing as it meant that she was up to something. "Pineapple-Head," she said sweetly. "I need your tactical genius."

"No you don't. You're smart enough on your own." Sakura pouted at him.

"Shikamaru, you're no fun!" she whined. "Fine, though. I just need an opinion from a guy's point of view in order to exact my revenge on a couple of bastards," she confessed.

"Is that all?" Shikamaru asked suspiciously. Sakura nodded vigorously. "You're so damn troublesome... I was cloud gazing, you know... Fine. Tell me what you know about them, and I'll try to figure out a few possible weaknesses." Sakura squealed with joy, and he resisted the urge to clap his hands over his ears to block out the high-pitched sound.

"One of them is afraid of snails! … But he carries around salt, so that probably won't work again…" she trailed off. "The other one's brand new, so I don't know much about him, but I do know that both of them already have legions of annoying fangirls, all ready and waiting to pounce."

Shikamaru smiled a bit, a plan coming together, though he wouldn't tell her his plan, just the main gist of it. She'd figure it out from there. "Then use their fangirls to get to them," he stated simply. Her whole face lit up with enthusiasm. She hugged him, (nearly breaking his ribs…), and he twitched a bit.

"Thanks a bunch, my Lazy-Ass Pineapple-Headed friend!" she pretty much screeched in his ear. She let go, and he immediately began to rub his still ringing ears, but in the interest of avoiding becoming her personal armchair until lunch was over urged him to reply.

"N-no… problem…" Sakura skipped away, joy radiating off of her as her malicious thoughts converged into the ultimate vengeance.

"Troublesome girls and their crazy personalities and mood swings... What a drag..." Shikamaru muttered after she'd vanished from sight.

**-Tenten's House-**

Brriinngg!

Brriinngg!

Brri-!

"Hello?"

"Yes, this is Tenten. Who is this?"

"What! Really!"

"What time! Where!"

"3:00 PM sharp in front of the school?"

"Yes! I'll be there!"

"Okay, bye!"

Tenten spun around giddily. Sakura had called her. She said that while she was sitting near Neji, he had inadvertently mentioned that he wanted to ask her out, but was uncomfortable, so she'd offered to do it for him. He was going to meet her at the front of the school tomorrow at 3:00 PM. Right after school! Sakura said that Neji would have a surprise for her when he got there. Little did she know that a certain pink-haired teenager was laughing her ass off…

**-Haruno Residence-**

"Let's see…" Sakura said to herself as she held up a list of people who were in Neji's fanclub. Her eyes traveled down the list. "I already did Tenten, Kiri, Ari, Mimi, Saiyo, Kyro, Amy, Lauren, Roan, Vanessa, Chisachi, Makyo, Nasai, Miaro, Sarah, Dyna, Yume, and Rio… So that's it for Mr. Girly-man!" Sakura rubbed her hands together, smirking cruelly. _'I'm so bad…'_ she thought to herself. _'But soo damn good at it!'_

She picked up the list of Sasuke fangirls and skimmed through it. "First victim for Pretty-boy is Ino! I don't particularly like doing this to her," she confessed, "but if I want my vengeance, I'm gonna need all the giggly, girly, sentimental fangirls I can get!" She dialed Ino's number. Ino picked up the phone on the second ring. She sounded pretty pissed off when she spat into the phone. _"Who's calling!"_

"Hey Ino-pig! It's just me, Sakura."

"_Oh… Hi Forehead-girl!"_

"Listen, I just wanted to tell you that that guy, Sasuke, really likes you."

"_No **WAY**!"_

"Yes way! He wanted to ask you out, but he said he was too nervous, and asked me to set stuff up for him!"

"_Wait...__Why'd you agree?"_

"We **do** sit next to each other, and he couldn't exactly ask anyone else to do it, so I took pity on the poor guy, and said I'd help."

"_Awesome! So tell me… WHERE and WHEN I'm supposed to meet up with him?"_

"3:00 PM, right at the front gates. He said he was gonna give you a big surprise when he meets up with you!"

"_Tell him I'll be there! Do you know what the surprise is?"_

"Yes!" '**Oh, I know all right…'**

"_Tell me!"_

"No way! It's his surprise, so I'm gonna let him deliver it to you!"

"_Please!"_

"NO!"

"_/sniffle/ Fine… I'll leave the issue alone…"_

"There ya go, Ino-pig! I'll see you tomorrow at lunch and we'll gossip a bit!"

"_It's a deal! Bye, Forehead!"_

"Bye, Ino!"

Sakura hung up the phone, then checked off Ino's name on her list. "Now I only have to do… Temari, Haru, Carlie, Gabriel, Selena, Tera, Nami, Ayame, Iris, Mizu, Karin, and Itsuki," she giggled. This was gonna be her greatest plan ever!

Third chapter! Thanks to my friend who gave me the idea for Shikamaru's nickname! Thanks to any readers who have read this far!


	4. Vengeance is Sweet

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

* * *

Sasuke eyed Sakura suspiciously the next day at school, and Neji was getting a little restless. She was plotting something bad… She hadn't stopped smirking all day, and there was an evil glint in her eyes. She hadn't even reacted to their insults or pranks. "Okay, Pinky," Sasuke whispered, "what are you plotting?" "That's for me to know, and you to find out," she teased, sticking her tongue out at him. Neji turned and looked out the window next to Naruto. Something was telling him that the fates had something horrid heading his way today…

"Ino-pig!" Sakura squealed, running up and hugging the hell out of her as though she hadn't seen her blonde friend in years. "How've you been there, Forehead-girl?" Ino said, hugging back with equal enthusiasm.

"Very well, Ino-pig! You?" "Same!" They giggled, slinging their arms over each other's shoulders as everyone sweatdropped. Shikamaru sighed from a short distance away.

"…Girls…" he said in a bored tone. "They're so… troublesome… Those two saw each other yesterday…" Ino turned and glared at Shikamaru, her bright blue eyes sparking with malice.

"And what of it, my Lazy-Ass _friend_?" she asked sharply, stressing out the word 'friend' as much as she could. Shikamaru shivered.

"Nothin, nothin. Jeez." He did NOT want to tempt the rowdy blonde. The Lazy Ass was gone before she could file out a retort.

"Hey, Ino?" Sakura intoned, lightly nudging her friend aside.

"Yeah, Sakura?"

"Can you come with me?" Ino heistated. Sakura had left off the 'pig' part... This must be serious...

"...Sure..." Sakura led her to the far side of the cafeteria, and Ino suddenly looked nervous. "Did Sasuke change his mind?" she asked, worry clouding her features.

"No! Of course not, Ino!" Sakura said without hesitation. "He just asked me to tell you not to approach him about it until 3:00. He doesn't want the other fangirls taking out their frustration on you."

"Oh," Ino said, relief washing her features. "Is that all?"

"That's all, Ino-pig," Sakura replied. "The date's still on." Ino smiled. "Let's go eat lunch, okay? Then we can talk after your date with Sasuke. I want to know everything about what happens," Sakura said eagerly as Ino nodded. Sakura put on a serious expression. "Ino, if he hurts you in any way…" she warned, "that bastard's gonna have hell to pay for it! I'll make sure of it!" Ino grinned.

"Thanks, Sakura. I'm glad you'll be there for me if he does." "No problem!" The two friends walked off. Inner Sakura rubbed her hands together in anticipation. ****

**_'Now this…'_** Sakura's inner self cackled, **_'is gonna be good!'_**

After having given Tenten the same reassuring speech, Sakura went to PE. She didn't even flinch as she opened her locker to find a salamander perched on top of her uniform. She picked it up, set it down, got on her uniform, and picked it back up. Walking out of the girl's changing room stealthily, Sakura dropped the slimy amphibian on an unsuspecting Neji's head, then smirked as he jumped, something like a scream coming from him.

"ACK! THEY'RE BACK!" he yelled, causing everyone to look at him like he had fallen from the sky. Sakura stifled a giggle behind her hand and went around him, sitting on one of the benches as she waited for Gai-sensei, their PE instructor, to arrive and tell them what 'youthful activities' he had planned for them today.

"Ah," came his peppy voice, sending chills of disgust radiating off of Sakura. "The springtime of youth is alive and well, I see!" The only one who responded was 'Fuzzy-brows' Lee as Sakura like to call him, who jumped up eagerly and pumped his fist in the air.

"Such is the power of youth, Gai-sensei!" Gai ruffled Lee's hair, beaming at his favorite student.

"You're very right, Lee," he said, his annoying, sparkly grin getting wider. "Today we will be playing one of the most youthful games in existence!" He was cut off by a loud groan from most of the student body, but Sakura was the one who actually asked the question.

"Not yoga again," she moaned. He smiled at her and wagged a finger in her face. She resisted the incredible, near overwhelming urge to try and bite his finger off.

"Not today, I'm afraid," he said, getting interrupted by a bout of deafening cheers. "This time, we will be engaging our youthful spirits in a game of soccer!" A sudden cheer rose from Tenten, who stood back up and pumped her fist in the air in triumph.

"Hell yeah, baby!" She blushed, then sat back down, very much aware that many people were now staring at her..

"Girls against boys," Gai said proudly, then paused. "Oh, yes! Please give a youthful welcome to your new classmate, Hyuga Hinata! She is shy, so please make her feel at home!" A quivering girl with lavender hair and the same white eyes as Neji, an oversized, light pink coat with a fuzzy collar, and black pants edged cautiously into view. Sakura immediately gathered the girls. She came up to Hinata and held out a hand. Hinata looked like she was afraid it would burn her, so Sakura sprang forward and initiated a handshake.

"I'm Haruno Sakura!" she said excitedly. "Hyuga Hinata; Welcome to Konahagakure High School!"

"…T-thank you… H-Haruno-san…." She muttered.

"Erm... Just call me Sakura, okay? Haruno-san makes me feel kinda… old…" Hinata nodded, no longer feeling confident enough to speak. "So then," Sakura started bluntly, "who's good at what positions?" Tenten raised her hand and Sakura nodded.

"I do offense!"

"That works. Hinata, would you like to be goalie?" Hinata fiddled with her index fingers nervously. "…I'll… take that as a yes…" Sakura said blinking. "Temari, how about you be on offense with Tenten? I'll be defense, you, you, you, and you," she indicated four girls she didn't know, "will back me up with the defense, and you, you, and you," she said, indicating the three remaining girls she didn't know, "will join Temari and Tenten in offense." They all nodded, then headed out to their side of the field.

The game began at a fast pace. Those boys didn't know what hit them! In under a minute, Tenten had hammered the ball into the net, scoring a point for the girl's team. The boys got serious, now. Neji was goalie, Sasuke and Naruto were on offense, and Lee got stuck with defense. Sakura snorted as The three girls she didn't know stood there, admiring Sasuke as he sprinted straight past them.

"Hinata!" she shouted to her new friend, "Get ready! It's all yours!" Hinata straightened a bit. In a game, she didn't have to be self-conscious, so her shy look dissolved into one of grim determination.

Sasuke nailed the ball, and everyone, Sakura included, was surprised when Hinata _actually_ blocked his shot, then drop-kicked it to Sakura. Hinata noticed Naruto and started blushing, and most of the balls he shot during the game made it into the net. Other than that, Hinata made one hell of a goalie. Sakura cheered as Hinata blocked another hit from Sasuke, then kicked it to Tenten, who shot a goal just as the bell rang. Girls just barely won with that last shot, with the score being 15 to 14.

Sakura continued to cheer, then went over and hugged Hinata, who had reclaimed her shy demeanor. Hinata stood there, not sure how to respond, but Sakura was holding on pretty tightly.

"S-Sakura-chan… I can't breathe…" she muttered. Sakura let go, stepping back to look at her teammate, respect shining in her emerald eyes. She gave Hinata a pat on the back.

"That was great, Hinata," she said cheerily. "You make a wonderful goalie!" Hinata blushed at the praise, and Sakura went on to congratulate Tenten and Temari on an equally outstanding effort. Sakura smirked. Not only had they managed to kick those damned boys' asses in soccer, but soon she would be granted another victory.

After school, Sakura rushed out, dragging Hinata with her, and hid neatly in some bushes by the school's front gate. Sasuke and Neji walked out, but just as they were about to exit the school grounds, they were bowled over by what seemed to be millions of giggling girls to them.

"Neji-kun! I'm ready to go out on our date!"

"What are you fucking on about, bitch? **I'M** going on a date with Neji-kun!"

"No way, you skanks! Neji-kun asked me out!"

Sasuke was suffering the exact same scenario, and it continued for a few minutes, until all eyes focused on the pair of pissed, and very, _very _scared boys.

"You guys were two-timing us!" Sakura shouted, the noise seeming to come from somewhere within the depths of the crowd.

Murmurs of agreement started to float around, and all of the near-rabid fangirls turned to the unfortunate pair, glaring daggers at them. One by one, all of the girls slapped the boys and stomped off, cursing them, though they all knew that they'd be mooning after them again tomorrow. Sakura stepped out of the bushes innocently, walking over to a fuming Ino-pig. Ino looked at Sakura, then looked back down. Sakura put on a serious face.

"Ino… did they hurt you?" she asked as though she had no clue of what had transpired. Ino nodded. Sakura tapped her friend on the shoulder. "Ino, I'm gonna go smack the both of them, but you can exact you own revenge," she whispered slyly. Ino perked up and nodded, leaning closer to the pink-haired maniac she called a friend.

"Those two **_HATE_** it when their legions of fangirls chase after them," Sakura said. "So if you and any others who may have been hurt by them join together and harass them, that'll give them a living hell until you feel they've suffered enough." Ino smiled wickedly, agreeing without a second thought. Sakura patted Ino's shoulder, then began to stride to where the two boys were recovering. Ino ran home to begin her newest little 'project'.

Sakura walked up and smacked them both. Hard.

"OW! DAMMIT!" they shouted. She grinned at them as they winced, then burst into laughter.

"HAHAHA!" she ranted. "YOU TWO IDIOTS PAID BIG-TIME! HAHAHA!"

"IT WAS YOU!" Neji shouted incredulously. Sakura nodded happily.

"YOU WERE THE BITCH WHO SET US UP FOR THIS!" Sasuke raged, getting another nod. Her task complete, Sakura skipped off with a contented and satisfied grin on her face. Neji and Sasuke looked at each other. They'd work together to get back at her for this…

* * *

Isn't it the most wicked thing ever to just sit back and watch others do your dirty work?


	5. When Boys Strike Back

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

* * *

"Rock Lee? You sure?" Sasuke asked.

"Positive," came Neji's reply. "He's the bane of her existence. All in all, a nice guy, but a bit too… enthusiastic…"

"Oh…"

"Anyhow, since I came up with this brilliant scheme…" Neji said smugly, "YOU will be the one to initiate it!" With that, Neji ran off, smirking as Sasuke just stood there gaping.

"SCREW YOU HYUGA NEJI!" he yelled, shaking his fist at Neji's retreating silhouette. "HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME TO TALK TO FUZZY-BROWS!"

-Sasuke's Home-

Sasuke gulped as his trembling hand dialed Rock Lee's number. _'Neji, you cruel bastard!'_ he mused. _'You've subjected me to what may turn out to be a fate worse than death!'_ Lee picked up the phone as soon as it started to ring.

"_Yosh! Konohagakure's Green Beast! At your service!"_

Sasuke winced and held the phone a bit further from his ear. Did that Fuzzy-browed freak have to be so damn loud? "Rock Lee, right?"

"_Yes, this is he. May I ask who is calling?"_

"Uchiha Sasuke."

"_Is that so? What business do you have with me?"_

"You know that I sit next to Sakura, right?"

"_Yeah…"_

"Well, earlier today, she told me that she has a crush on you, but she wasn't sure whether or not you feel the same about her."

"_Of course I do!"_

"That's great! So, maybe you could give her a little more attention, just to make sure that she knows."

"_I'll do my best, and use all the youthful tactics I know!"_

"Thanks a lot, Lee! I'm sure she'll appreciate it! See you tomorrow!"

"_Goodbye, Sasuke!"_

Sasuke slammed down the receiver and started laughing his ass off. When his initial bout of laughter subsided, he picked up the phone again, this time punching in Neji's number. He answered on the third ring.

"Uchiha. I trust your mission was successful?"

"Yes. It worked exactly how you said it would!"

"Perfect. Haruno won't know what hit her."

They hung up, both of them chuckling. The same thought was running around in their skulls. _'I can't wait for tomorrow!'_

-The following day at Konahagakure High-

Sakura hummed softly as she fiddled with her locker. She felt good today. A heart-shaped box of chocolate tumbled out when she opened it, and a chill ran up her spine. _'Uh-oh! Not a good sign!'_ she thought. "ARRG!" she shouted as she was nearly run over by a green blur. A bunch of brightly colored assorted flowers was shoved into her face, and she squinted, trying to peer through them to see who was holding them. "Lee!" she asked as a look of horror swept across her features. He lowered the bouquet.

"Yes, it is I my lovely cherry blossom!" he gushed. "Your 'green beast' of Konahagakure High has come for you!" Sakura looked around him to find Sasuke and Neji a short distance away, both sniggering and smirking, and she got suspicious.

_'They did this!'_ she thought. _'I don't know how yet, but my gut is telling me that they are somehow responsible for this!'_ Lee grabbed her hands and began to drag her toward their next class, and she did nothing, just glared at the two boys.

At lunch, Lee started to talk. Sakura cut him off.

"Lee?" she asked sweetly. When he nodded, she continued. "Why are you doing this all of a sudden?" Lee stared at her for a minute before answering.

"Sasuke called me yesterday," he said cheerily. "He told me all about my precious flower's feeling for me, and asked if I would court you to show you that I pledge my eternal devotion to you!"

_'Grrr… DAMN THOSE TWO!'_ she thought as Inner Sakura started to try and force herself out and murder them on the spot. _'I'll get them for this! … As soon as I save myself from Fuzzy-Brows…'_

"Hey, Lee?" Sakura asked, an innocent grin on her face. "Would you please do me a huge favor?"

"Anything for you, my cherry blossom!"

"Could you get me a soda?" Lee nodded and sprinted off. Sakura stomped towards Sasuke and Neji, who were now laughing openly. "You two bastards…" she hissed slowly, "are gonna pay dearly for this…" She pulled back her hand, but froze as she heard Fuzzy-brows calling her.

"Where has my lovely cherry blossom gone?"

Sakura dove behind Sasuke and Neji, trying to hide from the green jumpsuit-clad freak. Both boys looked back at her and smirked. Apparently, she found them the lesser of two evils. Lee spotted her pink hair and began to walk towards her. Sakura yelped and leaned to Sasuke's ear.

"Sasuke, please!" she pleaded, getting desperate. "Call him off!" Sasuke shook his head. "I'm begging for mercy here!" she whispered. "Please, I'll even stop the fangirls from attacking you!" Sasuke and Neji perked up at this. It _would_ be great if they didn't have to worry about their rabid fangirls for a while…

"Fine," they hissed. "But you'd better stick to your word!" Neji added warningly. Lee was getting closer fast, and Sakura nodded vigorously.

"I will! I will!" she cried, beginning to panic. "Just get him away from me!"

"Hey, Lee," Sasuke called out. Lee turned to him.

"Am I not doing well, Sasuke?" he asked naively.

"No," Sasuke replied, watching as Lee sighed in relief. "But I should tell you that everything I said over the phone was a lie. I was using you to get back at Pinky, here."

Lee gave Sakura a pitiful, heartbroken look before asking softly, "Is that the truth, Sakura?" Sakura nodded sadly.

"Yes, Lee," she said softly. "It is."

"I… understand…" Lee said, crestfallen. "However," he added, going into his 'good guy' pose. "Should anyone ever hurt you, or if you change your mind, come to me, okay?"

"I'll keep that in mind. Thank you, Lee," Sakura said, relieved that he hadn't kept pressing the matter. Lee nodded and walked away. Sakura turned to Neji and Sasuke, slapping them both very hard and scowling.

"You bastards had to pick Lee as your weapon!" she shouted furiously. "Because of that, he's heartbroken!" She grinned then, and hugged them both. "But thanks for saving me from him." They blinked. She pouted, then grinned again, bouncing lightly on the balls of her feet. "I'll keep my end of the bargain," she said seriously. "But don't let that make you forget that we're still at war!" And she raced towards their next class, leaving behind two **very** confused males.

They followed after a minute, walking automatically.

"Hey, Sasuke," Neji asked after a few minutes of stunned silence.

"Hm?" "How do girls change their mood so quickly?" Sasuke shrugged.

"I dunno," he confessed. "It's kinda scary, though." Neji nodded as they walked into room 240. They slid into their seats silently, and the bell rang.

* * *

I keep wondering if maybe I should add Dei somewhere while I revamp. I'm really into Dei/Saku for some reason. They again, there's just something about a hot blonde bomber psychopath that is just so awesome.


	6. New Neighbors?

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

* * *

**BEEP! BEEP!**

"Zzzz…"

**BEEP! BEEP!**

"Grr…"

**BEEP! BEEP!**

"Rrraaahhh!" Sakura launched herself out of bed. It was Saturday, GODDAMN IT! Sticking her head out the window, she scowled. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" she shouted shaking her fist. She slapped her hand over her mouth. _'Oh… Oops…'_ She took a more careful look, and saw a moving truck backing into the driveway of the house next door. _'Yay!'_ Sakura thought, overjoyed. _'That house has been on sale, like, forever and a half! I'm getting a new neighbor!'_

Sakura hurried up and made herself pretty. She was gonna go greet them! She just hoped that they were more pleasant company then her other neighbor, a 'sweet' old lady who was really a total ass. Always yelling and screeching and complaining about every little thing. She grabbed a Poptart and a glass of milk, practically inhaling the food. She rushed outside and rang the doorbell of the now sold house.

She heard footsteps, and the door opened to reveal… was that a girl? He/she was wearing a pale blue T-shirt and blue denim jean shorts, and had long brown hair and eyes that matched. She-man looked at her and she fidgeted.

"Uh, hi!" she said, trying to regain her enthusiasm. "I guess you're my new neighbor. I'm Haruno Sakura!" She-man stared at her. Sakura guessed that he/she thought she was mental or something. A few uncomfortable seconds of silence went by before he/she spoke. She-man's voice sounded like a girl's…

"Okay…" she-man said slowly, clearly assuming that Sakura was retarded or clinically insane. "I'm Momochi Haku."

'_WHAT THE FUCK?'_ Sakura thought, dumbfounded. _'THAT'S A GUY?' _

"Well, um…" she stammered, "erm… welcome to the neighborhood, Haku…" He nodded. She was kinda creepy in a weird sorta way. "Are you gonna be going to Konahagakure High?" Sakura asked. He nodded. "Okay…" she paused. "I guess that if you need help getting around at school, you can ask…" Being polite felt awkward. Haku was saved from having to respond when a deep baritone came from within the depths of his new home.

"HAKU!" someone yelled. "GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND HELP ME UNPACK!" Haku turned to the weird pink-haired nutcase on his porch and sighed, even though he was relieved.

"That," he said smoothly, "would be Zabuza. My adoptive father doesn't have much patience, so I'm afraid that this conversation will have to be cut short." He closed the door, and Sakura sighed, finally out of that awkward situation.

-Sunday afternoon, 12:35 PM-

Sakura yawned, waking up. She'd slept unusually well. She felt great. She went to her parent's bedroom to tidy up. They were never home, but that didn't stop her from making a mess of things in there. Looking out the window, she froze in shock. Haku was wearing a pink sun_dress_ and pulling up weeds in the garden. Sakura ran back to her room.

_'Is that guy GAY, or something?'_ she asked herself. _'Maybe not gay, but he's definitely a cross-dresser.'_ Turning back to her morning tasks, she tried to forget what she'd seen, and started nibbling on a bagel. The insanity level around here was reaching groundbreaking proportions…

* * *

Neighbors. What can I say?


	7. The Face of Evil

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

* * *

Monday morning brought with it a very special day for a certain cherry blossom. She woke up to find a package on her desk. It was from her father. Sakura ripped open the first layer of the package to find a card.

_Dear Sakura, _

_We're sorry that we couldn't be there for your birthday, but we sent you something extra special this year to make up for it. Use it wisely, and use it well. _

_Love, _

_Mom & Dad_

Sakura squealed happily. _'What'd he send this year?'_ she thought excitedly. Ripping away the last layer of wrapping, her jaw dropped. She picked up the object that had been previously encased in the colorful wrapping paper.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" she screeched. "WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH A DAMN FRISBEE!" She eyed it skeptically. _'I'll just pawn it off on Sasuke,_' she thought.

As soon as Sakura got to school, she saw Sasuke and Neji on the grounds. Walking up to them, she smiled awkwardly, shoving the Frisbee into Sasuke's hands.

He eyed it suspiciously before asking, "Alright, Pinky. What have you done to this thing."

"Nothing," she said honestly. "It was a gift my dad sent me for my birthday, but I don't want it. I don't play Frisbee. So I thought you'd appreciate it more than I can." Sasuke smirked, then proceeded to throw the Frisbee as hard as he could across the grounds. The Frisbee vanished from sight and Sasuke and Neji turned to each other, whispering. Sakura paled, then tapped them both on their shoulders.

"What do you want!" they snapped. She pointed in the direction that Sasuke had thrown the Frisbee, and they gawked. Unfortunately for Neji, it nailed him in the middle of his forehead and he toppled over. Sasuke had thrown the damn thing very hard, and they were downwind of the throw, so the velocity had doubled the impact. Poor Neji.

Sasuke and Sakura both stared at the blue monster Frisbee, and Sakura turned to Sasuke after a while had passed. She grinned before speaking her mind.

"Heh. Wow. Thanks, Sasuke!" she exclaimed. "You made my job easier! I dunno how you got it to do that, but that was hilarious!" Sakura jumped up, giving Sasuke a friendly peck on the cheek, picked up the Frisbee, then pranced to their next class. Sasuke stood there gawking as Neji started to wake up. Neji clutched his forehead with one hand, and Sasuke's wrist in the other, dragging the confused boy behind him as he headed to class.

Sliding into their seats, Kurenai began her Social Studies lesson, which everyone promptly tuned out. Halfway through the lesson, Kurenai happily introduced Haku, and Sakura was kind to him. He was a crossdresser, but she had been brought up better than to judge by that. He was a sweet guy. Very formal, a bit too polite most of the time, and a bit odd, but she could live with it. He was her neighbor, after all, so making an enemy of him would be very unwise…

At lunch, Haku sat alone and Sakura went over to him. She was holding the Frisbee, and all day it had been sending these creepy chills down her spine, like it was an evil all its own…

"Hey, Haku," she asked and he looked at her, then at the Frisbee and frowned. This girl got weirder every day… "Do you mind taking this Frisbee?" If Haku had been a little less well mannered, he might have fallen over anime-style at the ridiculous request, but as he was, he merely took the blue toy, looked at it, then threw it outside.

Sakura slapped her forehead. _'Not a wise choice, Haku,'_ she thought sadly. _'Ah, well. If Neji gets a concussion, it ain't my damn fault.'_ As if he wanted to get clobbered by the evil Frisbee from hell, Neji chose that moment to step in front of Sakura, asking where in seven hells her father had found a Frisbee that was so bloodthirsty. On cue, the Frisbee came soaring back in and Sakura's eyes went wide. Neji noticed and turned to look behind him. He saw a blue blur, and then it hit him.

_'That Frisbee has perfect aim…'_ Sakura thought as Neji was again hit squrely on his forehead and was then bowled over on top of her, clearly out cold. A domino effect ensued, and when Neji fell on Sakura, she fell on Haku. _'Goddammit!' _Sakura raged inwardly, giving the Frisbee, which had landed about a foot away from her, the evil eye and the finger. _'I'm pretty strong for someone of my size, but in this position, I don't have any leverage to push him off!'_ Haku twitched a bit and she turned her head slightly to give him an pitying look before apologizing softly.

"Gomen nasai, Haku," she whispered, before her look turned into one of determination. "Dammit Neji!" she yelled at his unconscious form. "Snap the fucking hell out of it!" He began to wake up and she felt relief wash over her. "Finally!" Sakura said excitedly. "Now get the hell off of me so that Haku and I can get up!" His white eyes peered blankly at her, obviously still dazed from the beat down the Frisbee had given him.

Sakura pouted, then stuck her tongue out at him. His eyes narrowed as they focused on her face, and he frowned, then got up carefully, standing back as Sakura got up and helped Haku up as well. Sakura bowed politely to Haku, apologizing furiously. He shrugged it off and walked away, very confused. Either her father was the devil, or that toy was possessed… Sakura stood, picking up the Frisbee catiously, as though she were afraid that it would bite her.

"Stupid evil Frisbee," she muttered. She squeaked as she felt Neji's arms go around her waist, tightening and pulling her to him, and she looked at him. His eyes were still narrowed, but he was smirking as well. He leaned in towards her ear.

"Are you sure it was the Frisbee's fault, Sakura?" he asked. Sakura nodded.

"I may be at war with you," she said, "but I wouldn't stoop so low as to cause you physical pain. …Well at least not on purpose."

"Are you sure?" he hissed.

"Yeah, you suspicious bastard, I am!" she replied.

"Then prove it," he said. "Take the Frisbee and burn it. Exorcise it."

"That only works in books, movies, Tv shows, comics, and cartoons," she scoffed. "But I will burn it, thought I won't do it at home. Burnt plastic doesn't smell very good, and it gets messy when it melts." Neji nodded.

"Then lets burn it together," he suggested. "We can burn it in the northern clearing of the woods behind the school."

"Works for me," Sakura replied. "But why do you want to come? Don't you trust me to stick to my word and burn it?"

Neji shrugged. "I trust you," he said, "but that evil little blue monster got me twice, right in the middle of my forehead, and I'd be damned if I missed seeing it's demise." Sakura nodded.

"So what time should we meet there by?" she asked.

"10:00 PM tonight," Neji replied. He released her, and they both went to their next class.

Seventh chapter! Sorry I took so long, and the chapter didn't meet my promise, but I got grounded yesterday and today from my computer, and I'm risking discovery right now! I'll try to move on faster, and besides, my inspiration for this chapter came today in PE. That Frisbee tried to kill me! It nearly lopped my head off!


	8. The Indestructable Menace

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

* * *

After school, Sakura waited patiently for the ceremony to come about. Heading back towards the school at 9:00 PM, she reached her destination early. Putting the evil Frisbee down, Sakura leaned back against a tree and fell into a calm sleep. When Neji arrived at 9:55 PM, that was what he saw. Her pink hair looked eerie in the moonlight, and her bangs were throwing shadows over her eyes. Neji tapped her on the shoulder. Her eyes cracked open to meet with his white ones.

"Hi, Girly-man," she greeted groggily. Sakura pulled out a mini flamethrower she'd gotten last year for her birthday, and began to torch her evil toy. When it finally caught fire, she put her sleeve over her nose protectively, and Neji stared. Then the smell of burning plastic hit him, and he too covered his poor nose. When the plastic would burn no more, the fire ebbed away, and both teens' eyes went wide.

"Neji," Sakura said, inching closer to her enemy. "Why won't it die?" Neji shook his head. The damned thing was still intact, though it had lost most of its color, and the center of the Frisbee had melted a bit, collapsing slightly and taking on the appearance of a skull. A wave of cold swept over them as they backed away slowly. With one last glance at the menace, they ran out of the woods together. When they were cleared of them they looked at each other, and then proceeded to try and forget about the evil that they had failed to kill, and walked to their respective homes.

When Sakura woke up the next morning, she muttered something incoherent about face-hugging teddy bears and how they were taking over the world with their evily huggable fluffiness. Completing her morning rituals, she grabbed up a glass of milk and took out a bowl. Filling it automatically with some sugary brand of cereal, she started to wake up as the sugar kicked in. Hauling up her backpack, she marched out the door to school.

**-9:** **05 AM-**

Kakashi walked in late once again, a happy grin on his face. Why was he so perky today?

"Yo," he said, sticking a hand in the air and waving a bit, holding his perverted book close to his nose. "Sorry for being late again, but my car broke down this morning and I had to walk here."

"Liar!" came Naruto's irritating voice. "Nice try, sensei, but I can see your car parked outside through the window!" Kakashi sweatdropped along with the rest of the class. Their teacher's car really was visible, but pointing this out wouldn't stop the excuses.

Kakashi passed out several books, but since he didn't have enough, people had to share. Sakura shared with Sasuke, Neji with Naruto, Tenten with Temari, Ino with Shikamaru, Hinata with Chouji, and Garaa with Kankuro. The book was to be read aloud between partners. It was called "The Do's and Don'ts of Proper Grammer". Everyone groaned, Naruto's, of course, being the loudest, but complied anyway as Kakashi delved more intimately into his beloved book.

At break, Sakura talked to Ino about her vengeance.

"Ino," she said seriously. "I hate to ask you this, and I mean I **really** hate to ask, but can you please call off your attacks on the guys?" Ino looked at her like she was mental.

"B-but **you're** the one who told me to go for revenge!" she stuttered.

"I know, Ino," Sakura replied, sighing regretfully. "However, they saved me from Rock Lee in exchange for helping them to fend of the ruthless attacks of their vengeful fangirls." Ino shuddered. Rock Lee was a freak, and she couldn't blame her pink-haired friend for making such a desperate move to get away from a fate worse than death itself.

"Well…" Ino started out slowly, "I guess that I can do that. If they actually got Fuzzy-brows to leave you alone, then they can't be all that bad." Sakura hugged her blonde friend.

"Yay!" she squealed happily. "Thanks Ino! I knew I could count on you!"

"Sakura…?" Ino gasped. Sakura looked at her questioningly, not relaxing her vice-like grip. "Can you let go now?" her friend wheezed. "You're kinda, sorta starting to asphyxiate me, over here…" Sakura let go, smiling sheepishly.

"Sorry, Ino-pig." "Whatever, Fore-head girl," Ino retorted playfully. They mock-glared at each other, then laughed, slinging their arms over each other's shoulders, they walked off, still teasing each other.

Neji was sort of jumpy all that day, but who could blame him? There was an evil Frisbee after his blood, for Kami's sake! Sasuke tapped him on the shoulder at lunch, and Neji, out of reflex, spun around and punched him, sending Sasuke into the nurse's office with one hell of a bloody nose. Sasuke returned in time for PE, but his nose still didn't look too good. Sakura kind of felt bad for him. Getting whacked like that on purpose was okay, but getting caught that off-guard by accident had to be very bruising to his ego.

"The springtime of youth is thriving this morning!" came Gai's exhuberant voice, sending chills of disgust rolling down Sakura's spine. She shuddered. At least they were playing dodgeball today. That was something she hadn't played in, like, forever and a half! Hinata was shy, but she was pretty damn fast. Dodging the balls seemed to be a little too much of an instinct, and she wouldn't even try to catch the ball if that could be avoided.

It was once again girls against the boys, and after a while, only Naruto was left on the boy's team, being the hyper juvenile that he was, and Sakura and Hinata were left on the girl's team. Surprisingly, no matter how high on sugar Sakura was, she still got out. None of the boys other than Naruto had actually out up a fight, which was odd, seeing as Sakura would have expected that they'd have found infinite joy in the contact sport. Hinata caught Naruto's ball, and he was out. She looked at him apologetically, but all he did was grin and shake her hand, the very picture of good sportsmanship. She blushed like hell when he did that.

Haku had been in for a long time. He was faster than Hinata, and no one had any idea how fast Neji and Sasuke were, since they hadn't bothered to try to play full-out. Naruto wasn't very fast, but he did have quick-acting reflexes, and that had been what had saved him. He was not very smart, but he had fairly good aim. Sakura pouted as Gai started what was likely to go from being a lecture to being an hour long seminar about the boys' "lack of youthful spirit". The bell rang then, and he reluctantly allowed them to leave. Sakura sighed. Another day gone, 346 days to go…

* * *

Eighthchapter! I just got a sudden idea, but if it's not very good, don't blame me! It's about 2:50 AM right now, and yet I can't sleep, but that doesn't mean I'm awake!


	9. Confrontation

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

* * *

The afternoon was dripping with a lazy heat, so Sakura decided to visit her sacred hideaway in the southwestern portion of the woods behind the school. Settling down in the peaceful little clearing, she stared at the small pond that was in one corner of her sanctuary. Sinking to a comfortable position at the shady base of a tree, she lay on her back gazing at the small patches of sky she could see between the leaves of the oak tree. Her eyes got a bit heavy. It was really nice weather for a catnap… Without realizing it, Sakura drifted off to sleep.

A twig near her head snapped loudly, and she shot up in alarm from having allowed herself to fall asleep. As she did, her forehead connected with something warm and semi-hard. She rubbed her eyes a bit, trying to speed up the regaining of focus in them.

"Hunh!" she exclaimed, surprised by the identity of her visitor. "Neji? What're you doing here, and how did you find this place?" He glared at her, rubbing the spot on his head where hers had connected. Sakura blinked when she noticed that it was in the same spot that the evil Frisbee had been attacking. "Um… oops," she said lamely, taking a page from Kakashi-sensei's book and scratching the back of her head nervously. Neji smirked at her, then stuck out a hand to help her up.

"I saw you running into these woods after school," he replied to her previous question as she accepted his hand, and he pulled her to her feet. "You didn't come out for a long time, so Hinata asked me to find out if you were dead or something. It's been almost three hours since school ended."

"Oh…" Sakura said dumbly. "I have a hard time believing that you actually came because she asked you to, though." Neji shrugged, then started to tug her out of the clearing and back towards school. The sky was getting dark very quickly, and Sakura shivered as she looked up at the evening sky. "I think it's gonna rain…" she mumbled, and a drop of wet plopped onto her forehead as her face turned upward. "I take that back; I _know_ it's gonna rain," she corrected herself. Neji smirked, looking at her face.

"Don't tell me you're afraid of a little rain, Pinky," he stated as his smirk got bigger. Sakura stared at him like he was nuts.

"Afraid?" she asked in a confused tone. "Where the hell did you get that idea from? We're gonna get wet!" As if to confirm this, a heavy downpour started, and she laughed at Neji as his clothes became soaked. "Girly-man," she teased playfully, "you look like a drowned rat." He gave a half grin.

"And you, my dear, sweet, Pinky," he said, feigning humility, "look like a pink wig that's fallen into a river." Sakura pouted at him, then ran away.

"C'mon, Girly-man!" she shouted over her shoulder. "Play tag with me! I need to burn off some energy!" Neji smirked before taking off after her. He was just about to tag her when she came to a dead stop, causing him to smack into her. They fell to the ground with Neji on top of Sakura, and Sakura staring at something with a horrified expression. Neji's eyes followed the direction hers were looking, and his heart just about stopped.

Less than three feet away from them, the evil Frisbee was lying on the wet ground, and it looked for all the world as though it was taunting him. Getting up fast and pulling the still dazed Sakura up with him, Neji fled.

_"Evil Frisbee, evil Frisbee, evil Frisbee, evil Frisbee!'_ he repeated the mantra in his mind until they had stumbled clear of the sinister-looking trees. Sakura had snapped out of her shock shortly after he'd started to run with her, and she was staring at him, her emerald eyes wide and her face a bit paler than its usual tone.

"It's still after you," Sakura gasped. Her lungs weren't working right, and she was having a hard time breathing. Neji twitched, then started to twitch a lot. After his twitching fit subsided, he looked at Sakura.

"Your dad," he said slowly, "is trying to kill me."

"Let's get away from here, Neji," Sakura said softly, tugging on the sleeve of his shirt. "That Frisbee scares me…" Neji nodded, and began to follow her to her home.

When they reached her porch, Sakura wrung out her soaked pink locks, causing a stream of water to cascade down onto the dry stone. She unlocked the door, and a blast of warm hit them both. She sighed in relief, then entered, beckoning him to follow. Opening a cabinet by the front door, she tossed him a gray towel and got out one for herself. Neji dried his hair carefully, and she watched.

"Somebody's big on hair-care…" she mumbled. Neji glared at her, then sighed. No use trying to reason with her. Sakura glanced at him, settling herself into a thinking position and biting her bottom lip as she concentrated. "Yeah, that'll work…" she said to herself. Neji cocked an eyebrow, and Sakura looked up to his face, a grin twitching at the corners of her mouth. "Neji, if you want something dry to wear home," she began, hostess hospitality beginning to kick in, "my dad is just about your size. You're a bit smaller than he is in shirt sizes, and you seem to be the same size in pants, so you're welcome to wear some home." Seeing his face, she narrowed her eyes at him, the green glinting dangerously.

"Get your mind outta the gutter, Girly-man," she hissed. "This is for your own good. Going out into the rain with clothes that are already wet will almost certainly get you sick, so don't be a stubborn jackass for once, and follow me to my parents' room to pick out a set of clothes." Neji stayed put as she began to walk upstairs, then sighed and followed her. After Neji had successfully chosen some dry clothes to borrow, she got him an umbrella. He looked at her and smirked as she pouted at him.

"Just use it, Girly-man," she said, rolling her eyes. "If you get sick and don't come to school tomorrow, who will I pick on? Sasuke's a good target, but you're a lot more fun!" Neji sighed, then stepped out onto her porch and opened the umbrella, carrying his wet clothes under his left arm, then began to walk home.

_'Women are so… pushy…'_ he thought, slightly pissed that she was treating him like a mother treats their child. Women were such odd things, and utterly impossible to understand…

* * *

Ninth chapter! Rainy days are so much fun, ain't they? This doesn't mean that Sakura and Neji will be getting together, but I plan to resurrect the evil Frisbee quite a bit in the duration of this story, and, seeing as Neji is its former target, I'm not gonna change that. Speaking of being together, would anyone like to suggest pairings? I'll use the ones that are mentioned most in the reviews that people might give, or just whichever ones I think will provide the most entertainment, but please don't suggest any Yaoi. I'm a girl, and to write something like that just doesn't seem like a thing I can do. It just weirds me out, okay? Thanks for reading!


	10. Surprise!

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

* * *

Sakura tossed and turned restlessly after that encounter with the evil Frisbee, and when her alarm clock woke her up, she felt like she hadn't slept at all. Reaching over to her bedside table, she turned it off without opening her eyes, but as her hand began to drop limply back to her side, it brushed against something that felt oddly familiar… Her whole body stiffened, and her eyes snapped open, pleading mentally that the object would not be what she thought it was. Sighing as she saw the evil Frisbee beside her, she wondered how it got there.

While she prepared and ate her breakfast, her eyes never once left the blue monstrosity. Grabbing her backpack as she went out the door, she held it firmly in both hands, holding it a little ways away from her body, and stared at it intensely. She made it halfway down the street before she heard a motorcycle and turned around. She saw it coming straight at her.

"Oh, SHIT!" she said as she dove out of its way. The driver turned as she shook her fist at him, coming back and stopping near her.

She couldn't see anything above his nose because of the helmet he wore. The helmet was a deep blood-red, and along its side was the symbol for "bad", aku, in creepy-looking black spiderweb letters. His motorcycle was a custom-made Harley Davidson, and its body matched his helmet. The motorcycle's seat was black, as well as its handlebars, and the same symbol that was on his helmet was scrawled on the front. Black flames were painted everywhere on it.

The man himself wore a dark red muscle shirt, as well as black leather pants and a silver studded leather jacket. He had the boots to complete the attire, and as she ceased shaking her fist, he flipped up the visor on his helmet. His eyes creeped her out. They were naturally narrowed, and he had turquoise pupils and black eyeshadow around the edges. He leered down at her.

"Do you have a death wish?" he hissed, getting off of his motorcycle and leaning over her. Sakura shook her head. "Then I suggest you not shake your fist at me again. Ever. I will kill you for it next time." Sakura looked at him for a full five seconds, dimly aware that he was Garaa, and was in her class, before she realized that she was still clutching the Frisbee.

"Back off, buddy," she warned, holding out the evil toy as though it were a shield. "I've got an evil Frisbee, and I'm not afraid to use it!" Garaa glared at her like she was some kind of retard.

"Like a silly toy such as that could ever be evil, let alone deter me," he said coldly, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned against his ride. She pouted at him. How dare he not believe her! Garaa continued to glare at the pink haired nuisance in front of him.

"It _is_ evil, and I'll prove it!" Sakura said hotly, forgetting about everything else and throwing it over his head. He turned to watch it, bemused, and her eyes went wide as she saw Neji turning around the corner. "OH SHIT!" she yelled, jumping up and waving her arms wildly in his direction. "NEJI, WATCH OUT!" Neji turned towards her voice and sighed mentally as he began to sprint, going around the Frisbee. Garaa's eyes went wide as the Frisbee altered its course to go after the white-eyed boy, but it went unnoticed.

Neji was fast, but as he started to double back, it once again nailed him in the forehead. He hadn't realized it was that close. That thing was a hazard to his health. Garaa smirked as the pink haired girl ran over to the stricken boy and shook him a bit. He groaned after a minute and she let go.

"Damn…" Neji muttered. "What the hell was that for, Sakura?" Sakura shivered a bit, very uncomfortable, and picked up her vile gift.

"Gomen nasai, Neji," she said softly. She really was sorry. She had totally forgotten that he was the target for her father's cursed present. "It was sitting on my bedside table when I got up this morning, so I thought I'd bring it to school to see if there was any way to get rid of it. Then Garaa, over there," she painted at the redhead, who was now mounting his vehicle, "nearly killed me with his motorcycle, and when he didn't believe that the Frisbee really is evil, I let my temper get the better of me and threw it to prove my point."

Neji rolled his eyes before pulling off his backpack and unzipping it. He pulled out the clothes, and the umbrella she had lent him, and she took them with a quiet "thanks". So that was why he had come. Her street wasn't exactly on his way to school, so she hadn't expected him to come by. Running back to her house, she dumped the clothes and umbrella, then grabbed an ice pack and headed back to where Neji was eying the Frisbee with suspicion.

She held out the ice pack and he took it, putting it on his head for a few minutes until the bruised flesh had gone numb. He handed it back, and she put it away. She picked up the Frisbee and shoved it into her own backpack, and then she led Neji through her shortcut. Taking her normal route would've made them late, but they still had to dash to get to school on time. They were out of breath when they finally slid into their seats as the bell rang, and Sasuke looked at them questioningly, cocking an eyebrow. They glanced at each other, then shrugged as Asuma-sensei entered the classroom.

Sakura was very unfocused that whole day. Something was nagging at her, and she couldn't concentrate. She felt like she was missing something, something important. In the middle of Iruka's math class, it finally hit her.

"My dad's coming to visit today!" she blurted out randomly, neatly assuring herself a few hours of detention on Saturday. Neji scooted a little bit away from her. He was kinda afraid of her dad. After all, it _was_ her father's present that was constantly trying to kill him… She noticed and smiled at him. "Don't worry, Neji," she whispered to him. "My dad's a great guy. He doesn't even know you, so I'm sure that it's just a freakish coincidence that my birthday gift seems to be after you."

He tried to believe her. Really, he did! Unfortunately, trying doesn't always succeed, and sometimes it doesn't succeed even if you try a lot of times, and this was definitely one of those rare "sometimes"…

As soon as school ended, Sakura's cell phone rang. The theme song to 'Beverly Hills Cop' started playing, and she answered the phone.

"Hiya, dad!" she cheered. After hearing his reply, she started to jump with joy. "Of course you can!" she assured him. He had come to pick her up, and he wanted to meet her friends, and, although he'd been joking when he said it, her enemies as well! He was waiting in the school parking lot, so she rounded up Ino, Hinata, Tenten, Shikamaru, Temari, Kankuro, Lee, (she still felt bad about having to tell him that she didn't love him), and Chouji, who all followed her willingly, (… Well, willingly _enough_, anyway…)

Grabbing Sasuke and a very concerned Neji by their wrists, she dragged them to where her father was waiting to greet them. Her father was wearing a nice dark blue suit and had a pair of good sunglasses hiding his eyes. His cell phone was ready for instant use, as he had never let go and it was still in his right hand. There was a waterproof watch on his left wrist. He stood in front of an electric blue four-seated Toyota Solara convertible with deep violet flames along the sides and matching violet seats. The top was down, and nearby was a black Ford Excursion with blood-red seats for ten people.

"Dad!" Sakura shouted as she jumped on him. He laughed as he caught her. He didn't look it, but under the formal suit of the businessman, he was a really playful guy. After he put her down, he turned off his cell phone and clipped it onto her belt, and she hugged him again.

"It _has_ been a while since my last visit, huh?" he chuckled. After a few minutes of catching up, Sakura began to introduce everyone. She saved Neji for last, then pulled him aside. Her father joined her, and she pulled out the Frisbee.

"Dad, this is Hyuga Neji," she said quietly. "Neji, my father." Neji inclined his head, still nervous, and Sakura's father did the same. Sakura tugged on her father's sleeve, then held up the Frisbee. "We have a problem with this thing, dad," she told him sadly. "Apparently, your gift is trying to kill Neji." Her dad gave her a weird look, then erupted into laughter. Sakura pouted. "No, really!" He laughed a bit longer before looking at Neji and taking the Frisbee.

"Sakura," he said in a lecturing voice. "Repeat after me; there's no such thing as evil Frisbees." He threw it to prove his point, and Neji and Sakura both ducked on instinct. After a few moments when it did not return to hit Neji, they got up and looked around. It was sitting innocently a few feet away. Neji growled and Sakura looked like her brain was overloading.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Sakura yelled after a minute. "WHY THE HELL'S IT ACTING ALL INNOCENT!" Her father laughed a bit, then gave her a noogie.

"I told you!" he teased.

"Well, it's not being evil now," she grumbled, "but I swear on my life that it did try to murder Neji! Please, just take the damn Frisbee with you when you leave, okay?" She begged him. He held up his hands in mock surrender.

"Fine, fine," he sighed. "Oh, and as a late birthday celebration, I've decided to take you and everyone you brought with you to Disneyland for the day!"

"Hell yeah, baby!" Sakura cheered. "I haven't been there in, like, forever and a half!" Neji groaned and started to leave. "Hey!" Sakura yelled, grabbing his arm and surprising the shit out of him. "Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"Home," he hissed. "We're at war, anyway, so why would you be inviting your enemy?" Sakura just tightened her grip on his arm. Neji could've sworn that he felt his circulation get cut off when she did.

"Dammit, Girly-man!" she retorted. "I'd be damned if I just let you walk away! I wanna see how you act at 'the happiest place on Earth'! As an added bonus, I'll even get to see your mortified face when I drag you onto 'It's A Small World'!" Her dad smiled at him, and he twitched. "C'mon!" Sakura yelled in his ear, watching as the volume made him wince. "You're coming in the convert with me and my dad!"

"Like hell I am!" Neji shot back.

"Oh, yes you are!" Sakura retorted. "I have to make sure you don't run away, and you need to get over your discomfort with my dad!"

"Fine, just get the hell off my arm!" Neji shouted. "In case you didn't notice, I'd really rather not have to amputate it because of lack of circulation! I'm still using it!" Sakura squealed joyfully and released his arm, but she soon grabbed his left wrist and began to tug him along. Her father picked up the Frisbee and followed them back to the convertible.

When they reached her friends, they made their announcement.

"How troublesome…" Shikamaru sighed. "Do I really have to go?"

"YES!" everyone shouted, some because they were happy, and others, like Neji and Sasuke, because they didn't want to suffer alone. He held up his hands in defeat. They all picked a seatmate to sit with in the Ford, while Neji and Sakura hopped into the convert. (Well, actually, it was more like Sakura hopped in and dragged Neji in with her...) Naruto ended up paired with Hinata, Ino with Shikamaru, Temari with Tenten, Garaa with Kankuro, and Chouji with Rock Lee. They piled into the stretch Ford, and the engine started. The limo pulled out slowly and followed the bright Toyota as it drove smoothly towards their destination.

Tenth chapter! I told you I'd be bringing the "Evil Frisbee" back a lot in this story! It's too much fun to write about Neji getting clobbered by a mere toy to let the idea go! Anyway, I still need suggestions for pairings, and I'm still not gonna do Yaoi. Sorry to any fans of Yaoi, but like I said, I just can't do it! Temari, Kankuro, and Garaa will be joining in more, soon. They were mentioned in some other chapters, albeit only briefly, but they will be getting more involved. I'll also introduce Kiba and Shino after another chapter or so! Kiba will be bringing around Akamaru. Dogs aren't allowed in school, but since the two can't be separated against their will, the school will simply have to make an exception! Thanks for reading, and thanks to all of you who reviewed! (Man this thing took a long time to type! It's my longest chapter ever! Yay me! 2000 something words!)


	11. The Happiest Place on Earth

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

-------

'_Find a happy place, find a happy place…'_ was circling desperately around the thoughts of two normally stoic, impassive, male teenagers. Neji and Sasuke were rigid in their seats as the little boat floated on. Mortified and utterly humiliated, the two boys had lost their sense of pride as soon as the ride had started, and Sakura was sitting between them and keeping a firm grip on both boys' arms to keep them from trying to jump out of the boat. (They had already made several failed attempts.) Oh, the HORROR!

"**It's a world of laughter  
A world of tears  
It's a world of hopes  
And a world of fears  
There's so much that we share  
That it's time we're aware  
It's a small world after all**

There is just one moon  
And one golden sun  
And a smile means  
Friendship to ev'ryone  
Though the mountains divide  
And the oceans are wide  
It's a small world after all

It's a small world after all  
It's a small world after all  
It's a small world after all  
It's a small, small world"

Sakura had to drag them out of the boat because they were twitching so much when it finally ended. She was fairly certain that this trip had left them both scarred for life… Chouji looked like he was gonna be sick, Ino was in hysterics from excessive laughter, Shikamaru appeared to have ignored the entire thing, Naruto had fallen asleep as soon as the ride began, Hinata had nothing to say, Tenten and Temari were poking Neji and Sasuke as they tried to revive them, Kankuro looked a bit pale, and Garaa was trying very hard to suppress his twitching. Sakura walked over to Neji and Sasuke and bent down. "I'm gonna take a page outta your guys' book," she said good naturedly. She smirked at them, copying Neji's smirk, then hugged them both, making both boys come crashing back to reality.

Both looked at her weirdly, not having a clue in seven hells as to why she was hugging them. She smiled and stuck out her tongue playfully. "I knew that'd wake you up," she stated, grinning more, then bounced over to the bulk of her friends. Neji and Sasuke looked at each other, shivered, then got up slowly, staying a little bit behind the group as they talked in an attempt to ensure that no one was listening in. "Whatcha doin'?" Both boys jumped at the voice that came from behind them, and spun around to see Sakura beaming at them. They hadn't even known she was there.

Sakura was in high spirits, so she decided to take pity on them. "Just so you know," she said excitedly, " we'll be going on Space Mountain next." Neji glared at her pointedly. "Do you have ANY IDEA WHAT THAT WILL DO TO MY HAIR!" he shouted at her. She shrugged. "Chill out, Girly-man," she said holding up her hands in mock surrender. "At least it'll take your mind off of the "It's a Small World" horror you just went through." At that, Neji and Sasuke both grabbed one of her wrists and dragged her along at a much faster pace, passing by the group of friends and trampling anyone who dared to so much as walk in front of them. Sakura slapped her forehead mentally.

Sakura's father had some great connections, and they were almost immediately on the ride when they got there. Sakura sat in the front with Sasuke, who knew that his chicken hair stood a much better chance of surviving the ride than Neji's did, and Neji sat in the back with her father and the rest of the gang stationed between them. Sakura giggled evilly as the roller coaster began to crawl forward, then yelled out something that sounded like a very winded "Cowabunga!" as the speed increased dramatically as they took the first turn.

Several sharp turns threw her against Sasuke's side, and more threw Sasuke against hers, and after what seemed to some, like Shikamaru, an eternity, and to others, like Sakura and Ino, a few seconds, the ride finally stopped. Sakura got off shakily, loving the dizziness and still remembering the feel of the wind on her face. Everyone was alright, seeing as no one was getting sick, but when Neji stepped off, Sakura couldn't suppress a snort. "Shut up," Neji commanded, glaring daggers at the pink haired teen, who, in response, held up her hands in what was intended to be a placating gesture. "Fine, fine," she murmured. "We can leave now. I think you, and your poor hair, have suffered enough. I _am_ human, so believe it or not, I _do_ have some sense of mercy." "Yeah. Right." He mumbled as they began trooping toward the park exit.

Later on, she and everyone who had come with her to the amusement park were scattered around her living room as her dad prepared to leave again. Sakura hugged him, then eagerly stuffed the evil Frisbee into a metal suitcase, firmly locking it up and keeping the key. Now her father couldn't avoid taking it back with him. "Good bye, everyone," he said, sighing and looking at his watch. "I wish I coulda stayed longer, Sakura…" His daughter smiled gently at him. "It's okay," she reassured him. "I know how demanding your job is. I don't mind. Besides, you _do_ make a point of visiting at least once a year, and with your schedules, even that's a setback for the company." Her father hugged her, then waved goodbye to everyone and picked up his luggage. He went out the door and got into his car, taking off. Everyone left and Sakura watched a bit of Tv. Before she brushed her teeth and went to bed.

Morning found the pink-headed nutcase fast asleep, snoring gently with little snuffling noises and sighs. Something tickled her nose, and she swatted at it making it go away. After a few minutes, her nose was getting tickled again, and she did as she had before. The process repeated itself until her patience ran out and her eyes snapped open as she sat bolt upright in bed.

"HOLY SHIT!"

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Eleventh chapter! (I empathize with Neji and Sasuke… "It's a Small World" is a fate worse than death… Those poor guys!) Still need more opinions about the pairings, but this chapter's done now, so I'll start working on the next one ASAP. Thank for reading, and thanks to everyone that has reviewed!


	12. Night of Pranks

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of an exchange student makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignifigant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

------------------------------

Recap:

"HOLY SHIT!"

-----------------------

"This is **not** happening!" Sakura screamed. There it was, sitting there like some undead fiend. It was back… Sakura pulled a chainsaw out of her closet, a precaution against unwanted visitors, and started it up. It roared to life, and she lowered it upon the blue object that would be forever known to her as the stuff of her nightmares. As the revolving blade made contact, the blade stopped going, and the machine died. It DIED! Sakura looked at it. It was completely unharmed. Not even a scratch was on it.

Nervously, she backed away, still holding the now broken electric chainsaw, and her eyes never leaving the horrible terror that sat before her. She could've sworn that it was smirkinng at her evilly. Grabbing her bag of stuff, she backed out through the doorway, firmly shutting the door behind her. She released the breath she'd been holding. How could it be back? How could the evil Frisbee be back! She still had the only key, and she was absolutely certain that her dad had done as she had asked and taken it with him! Turning white with fear, she dashed out the front door, carefully locking it as she did, then continued to her destination. Twitching every few seconds.

**DING DONG**

Sakura rang the doorbell of the huge manor. The door swung open to reveal Ino, who was grinning happily, as well as a blushing Hinata behind her. She'd been too shy to open the door herself, so Ino had done it. "Welcome to the party Sakura!" Ino yelled, hugging the hell out of her pink haired friend. "Uh, hi?" Sakura wheezed. Ino let go of her and stepped back to allow Sakura to get in. She put her stuff in Hinata's living room, and then proceeded to join the other girls who were sitting in front of the Tv, waiting for her. Tenten stood up. "Finally!" she yelled loudly. "Now that you're here, we can get started!" Sakura beamed happily, forgetting about the evil Frisbee for the moment. Neji chose that moment to walk by the room.

"Oh shit!" Neji muttered, then glared at Hinata. "I thought you said she wasn't coming!" Hinata shrugged nervously. "I, guess I, uh, might have, fibbed… a bit…" She said nervously. "Now I have to call for reinforcements!" Neji yelled, running away to his room. He got to his room and dialed Sasuke's number. _'Dammit, Sasuk! Pick up!_' he screamed mentally. Sasuke picked up on the third ring.

"_Hello?"_

"Sasuke, get your ass over to my house now!"

"_Neji? Why?"_

"Hinata lied! Sakura is here! I need backup!"

_Fine, fine. I'll be there in a few minutes…"_

"Thank you. This'll be a as good a chance as any to get some payback for that "It's a Small World" fiasco, so be prepared to start plotting as soon as you get her!"

'_Sure… Whatever… See you if a few minutes, then…"_

"Okay, bye Sasuke!"

Neji hung up, then breathed a sigh of relief. At least he wouldn't have to face so many girls alone…

Sakura looked up as the doorbell rang. "Who else did you invite, Hinata?" she asked in a confused tone. Hinata shook her head. "Everyone I invited it here…" she said softly. Neji ran through and opened the door, flinging it open to reveal one very pissed off Sasuke. "What the hell is Pretty-boy doing here?" Sakura asked. "I invited him," Neji replied, smirking. "He's my backup."" "Oh…" Sakura muttered before siling brightly at them. "I wasn't planning on doing anything to you tonight, neji, but now that he's here, I'll take it as a challenge! I won't be using the others against you. It'll be wit against wit!" Neji gulped. At least if they were doing things as a group, he and Sasuke stood a chance of hearing or catching them, but alone, she was the ultimate predator…

At dinner, Neji and Sasuke saw whoopee cushions on their chairs, and took them off, smirking that she would try something so simple. She stuck her tongue out at them and pointed above their heads, to where the moving of the objects had tripped a few strings and set off the real prank. They coughed a bit, trying to get the flour out of their noses, then glared at her. All night, they w4ere pranked, and all night they pranked back. By the time morning came, Neji and Sasu7ke were exhausted from lack of sleep, but Sakura was, if anything, more hyper than ever from the lack, and seemed to be too hyper to stay still long enough to plot. Sasuke went home, and Neji sat there, thinking over the events of the night. _'Damn….'_ He mused. _'Maybe I should rethink my priorities for my enemies… Sakura is dangerous to my health…'_

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Short, sweet, and, well… short. Sorry about that, but this is just a filler. I'll make up for it in future chapters! Thanks for reading!


	13. Handballs and Creampuff

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

* * *

Garaa raised an eyebrow as Sakura came up to him in PE the next day. She grinned and waved. "Hey, Garaa!" she called out. "Hn," was his reply. Sakura was holding a hot pink handball under her arm. "I just thought of a great nickname for you!" Sakura squealed. "From this day forth, ye shall be known… as… Cream-Puff!" Garaa stared at her disbelievingly for a full ten seconds before lunging forward. Sakura danced backward, avoiding him, and continued to call him 'Cream-Puff'. He finally caught her, and he started shaking her by the shoulders. Onlookers sweatdropped.

"WHAT WILL MAKE YOU STOP!" Garaa shouted as she giggled and kept saying 'Cream-Puff'. She stopped and pouted at him, giving him puppy-dog eyes. "Gimme a hug!" Garaa's eyes widened as he was stunned, and Sakura released herself from his grasp. He stared at her for a little longer before snapping back to his senses. "WHAT!" he yelled. The pink-haired hazard just giggled, then shoved the hot pink handball she had been holding into his hands. He took it automatically.

Sakura gave him a big grin as she sprinted to the other end of the court where the rest of the girls were. "Just kidding!" she laughed. "We're playing dodgeball with that because there aren't enough regular dodgeballs, so c'mon! Hit me with all ya got!" His eyes narrowed. "Stupid girl…" he muttered as he drew his arm back to throw the ball, then released it. Or at least, he _thought_ he'd released it… His eyes went wide as he looked to see it clinging to his left arm, and he shook it a bit. It wouldn't come off.

After a few more failed attempts at detaching the ball, Garaa got a little weird… He turned chibi and proceeded to flail his arms wildly as he ran around it circles. Neji sweatdropped. "And here I thought the evil Frisbee was bad…" he muttered. Out of nowhere, the evil Frisbee flew at him, a deadly blur of blue, and smacked his forehead. He crumpled and groaned as Sakura came running over. "Dammit, Sakura!" he yelled. "I thought your dad took this fucking thing with him when he left!"

Sakura gave him a pitying look. "He _did_ take it, Neji…" she said quietly. "When I woke up from a catnap on the day of Hinata's slumber party, it was in my room. I still had the key, and that thing probably took ten years off my life. When I got home again, it was gone, and now it's back." "Damned toy…" Neji sighed, rubbing his forehead. Garaa was still running around trying to get the evil hot pink handball off of his arm. Sakura edged over to Temari.

"What's with him?" she asked softly. Temari shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Garaa has had a secret phobia of handballs since he was five," she replied. "Unfortunately, I guess he never got over it…" "Oh," Sakura said, then walked back to where Neji was still nursing his abused head. The bell rang and she stuck out a hand to help Neji up, and he ignored it. Sakura pouted at him. "Neji," she hissed. "You're such an ass!" With that, she stomped off to get back in her normal clothes, leaving a smirking Hyuuga watching her receeding back.

"Oy! Sasuke!" Sakura yelled, waving a bit at said boy. He looked at her suspiciously as she ran over and started rustling around in her backpack for something. She found it and smiled, taking it out. It looked like a gift… Seeing Sasuke's dumbfounded expression, Sakura grinned and held it out. "I found out something special about today, Sasuke!" she said happily. "How come you didn't tell anyone today's your birthday, Pretty-boy?" Sasuke stared at her. How did she find out…? On second thought, he probably didn't really want to know just how she'd acquired that tidbit of information…

She glanced at her watch, then cursed under her breath. "I gotta be somewhere," she sighed before taking off. "Happy birthday, Pretty-boy!" He checked the package over very carefully for booby traps or some kind of prank, but he couldn't find anything. Slowly he began to unwrap the gift, peeling off the wrapping paper cautiously. Opening the lid of the little white box, his expression was shocked as he saw what her gift was. His face paled, then got red with anger. This was so _not_ funny! He pulled out her gift and snarled at it. It was a rubber chicken. She would pay for this…

* * *

Thirteenth chapter! Sorry it's on the short side, but this one's just another filler. The next filler will probably introduce Kiba and Shino, so I'd better start plotting... Thanks for reading!


	14. Hinata's Little 'Problem'

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

-----Key to dialogue-----

"$$" Talking

'_$$' Thinking_

"**$$" Inner-self talking through outer self**

'_**$$' Inner-self thinking**_

-------

"Move, Hinata," Neji said, giving her a shove. "Get out of my way." Hinata was staring at the ground, but she wouldn't budge. She was pissed. Neji was being an ass, so much so that even Hinata was getting fed up with her cousin. Neji tried to push her again, but this time, her hand shot out and gripped his wrist firmly. When she looked up, there was something in her eyes that made Neji feel a bit uncomfortable.

"**Dammit, Neji!" **she snapped, making Neji freeze up in shock. Did his timid cousin just **_swear_** at someone? Let alone at him? 'What the hell?' **"Goddamn you and your fucking attitude!"** Hinata growled. Sakura and the rest of her friends, (Ino, Tenten, and Temari), gasped, attracting the attention of Sasuke and Garaa. (Garaa has finally gotten rid of the evil handball, but Temari and Kakuro had had to use their combined strength to do it…) In no time, they had quite an audience. Hinata was still fuming and ranting, streams of curses could be heard every few seconds. The boys were backing away slowly, including Naruto, as this side of Hinata made its presence known.

Sakura smiled to herself. _'I guess Hinata has an inner self as well,'_ she thought happily, letting her own inner-self run rampant. Inner Sakura took over, launching herself into the air and seeming to pull pom-poms from out of nowhere and waving them. Boys looked at her, wondering where in seven hells the pom-poms had come from, then decided they didn't want to know and turned their attention back to Hinata's unusual display. **"HELL YEAH!"** Inner Sakura screamed joyously, still jumping around and waving the pom-poms. **"YOU GO, HINATA!"**

At this, Hinata seemed to return to normal, blushing and letting go of Neji's arm. He backed up quickly, not wanting to repeat that experience. "G-gomen nasai, Neji-niisan…" Hinata stammered, returning to her timid ways and blushing furiously. Neji didn't reply, afraid she might blow up at him again if he did. Inner Sakura sighed, still in control.

"**Damn…"** she muttered, disappointed. **"Just when it was getting fun…"** Inner Sakura receeded as Hinata ran off, embarrassed. _'I'd better make sure she's okay,'_ Sakura thought, now concerned. She remembered the first time her inner self had taken over and shivered a bit, then promptly took off after her fleeing friend.

Hinata was in the main hallway, leaning against the wall with her eyes closed tight, and shuddering every few minutes. Sakura walked up to her slowly. "Hinata…?" Sakura addressed gently. Hinata's eyes shot open and settled on her pink-haired friend.

"P… Please… Sakura-chan…" Hinata stuttered. "Just go away…" Sakura held up her hands in surrender.

"It's okay, Hinata," she said in a soothing tone. Hinata shook her head. "N-no… it's not…" she whispered. "Something… is wrong…"

Sakura looked at the white-eyed girl sadly, empathy shining in her emerald eyes. "I know what you're going through, Hinata," she said softly. "I've been through it, myself." Hinata gazed at her disbelievingly. "There's nothing wrong with you," Sakura continued. "I guess that your inner-self finally managed to free itself."

"'Inner-self'…?" Hinata asked, frowning a bit in confusion. Sakura nodded.

"Your inner-self is a more impulsive side of you that can take over when you get mad of depressed," Sakura said. "Everything that you don't express that is part of your nature, comes out in your inner-self. It's like having two minds, with two completely different perspectives on life." Hinata kept frowning. "Don't worry about it," Sakura added with a grin. "You'll understand after a while." Hinata was thinking hard. After a few minutes, she looked up and returned Sakura's smile.

"T-thank you… Sakura-chan…" Hinata muttered, making Sakura smile even more, but the smile had turned crafty.

"Hinata," she hissed slyly. "I'm gonna show you how to best utilize your inner-self, while enjoying yourself at the same time. You don't have to feel responsible for the stuff your inner-self does. Like I said, it's like having two different minds." Hinata gulped a bit. That look Sakura had was scary… "Let's have a little… wager…" Sakura continued. "To see whose inner-self can pissed off, scare, or annoy your cousin the most within a week. Whoever manages to do all of those things more than the other, wins. The prize will be whatever the person wants when the bet comes to a close."

Inner Hinata was already beginning to force her influence upon the normal Hinata. "O-okay…" Hinata hesitantly agreed. Sakura smiled a normal smile.

"Great," she replied happily. "Then we'll start today, since it's Monday, and we'll keep going until next Monday. We'll let our inner-selves out starting today, and keep them out and in control until the bet ends." Hinata nodded. They shook hands on it, then released all mental restraints on their inner-selves, assuring that the bet was on. Both smiling a creepy, crafty smile, both girls made their way towards their class as the bell rang to signal the end of lunch.

---------------1:25 PM Gym Class----------------

"**Is it just me, or is Gai-sensei being a lot more of a faggot than usual, today?"** Hinata asked loudly, again scaring the hell out of people who knew her to be 'docile'. Gai looked at her, assuming she was joking, and his annoying shiny smile nearly blinded the people as they sat waiting for instructions.

"**ARRGG! GODDAMMIT! MY EYES!"** Sakura yelled, clutching at her abused eyes. Poor Neji, who was sitting right next to her on her left side, jumped in surprise at the unexpected outburst while simultaneously flinching from the volume. **'Point one for me! I'm soo evil!'** Inner Sakura thought excitedly.

Gai wagged a finger at the two of them, still thinking that the earlier comment had been a joke, and deciding to try to 'play along'. "To answer your youthful question," he said, addressing Hinata more directly, but talking to the group as a whole, "I'm brimming with youthful energy because I will be the first to introduce you to your newest classmates!"

"**GET A _REAL_ JOB, YOU FAGGOT!"** Hinata shouted, shaking her fist at their Gym sensei. Gai's only response was to strike up his 'hero pose', and Sakura groaned dramatically, rolling her eyes.

Ignoring the rude gesture, or, more likely, not even noticing that it was intended to be rude, Gai bowed humbly in mock apology, expressing what he, apparently, thought to be a good sense of humor. "You may come in now, students," he announced. Three people and a small fuzzy-thingy came into the room. Two of the people were boys, and one was a girl. One boy's expression was emotionless, the other's was excited, and the girls had the look a five year-old gets when they're in a candy shop for the first time.

The expressionless boy had on a big grayish jacket that had a collar that fully covered the bottom half of his face, round sunglasses, dark brown hair that came up in a mass of messy spikes, black pants and a pair of Nike sneakers. The excited boy had weird eyes with slit-like pupils and red upside-down triangular… tattoos… they thought so, anyway… He wore a dark gray jacket with a fuzzy hood and fuzzy sleeve cuffs, a pair of black pants, sneakers, and had milk-chocolate brown hair that formed into neat spikes all over his head. The girl had waist-length black hair tied back in a tidy ponytail, and big sapphire eyes that looked suspiciously innocent. She wore a olive-green sleeveless top with big red lettering that said, 'Spaz out!' and had a funny little chibi that looked like it was having a seizure on the front, white khakis with cow-hide-pattern splotches of black, a matching scarf, two black arm-bands that started at her wrist and went up to her elbow, and a pair of violet-striped black Vans sneakers.

The girls couldn't seem to stay still for more than a few seconds at a time, and kinda looked like three year-old on their first sugar-rush as she started bouncing on the balls of her feet. Gai nodded, and she jumped forward a bit. "My name is Yowakusuru Kin!" she said in an annoying high-pitched but kinda deep voice. Promptly, she started to twitch from resisting the urge to start pacing or darting around the gym. **_'Hyper, much!'_** flew threw the minds of Hinata and Sakura.

The boy with the tattoos stepped forward and waved at Naruto tauntingly, who was growling a bit under his breath. The boy smiled, showing canine teeth that were kind of pointed. "Inuzuka Kiba," he said happily, "and this is my pal, Akamaru!" The fuzzy thing leaped into Kiba's arms and lifted its head. It was a small dog with tan fur and brown spots on its ears. "For anyone who intended to ask," he added, "they made an exception for Akamaru because he follows me everywhere. We never go anywhere without each other. They couldn't get him to stay away!" He laughed a bit and stepped back.

The boy with the sunglasses wouldn't speak, even though Gai kept throwing expectant looks at him. After a few minutes, Gai gave up. "This," he sighed a bit, "is Aburame Shino." Shino said nothing, but started to play with something black that had suddenly appeared on his right arm.

"OH MY GOD!" Kin screeched, turning everyone's attention, except Shino's, to the girl who was now panicking while staring and pointing at whatever Shino was playing with. "IS THAT A BUG! KILL IT!" Kin swatted at it, knocking it out of his hands, and raised her foot to crush it, but her foot came down on nothing.

Shino was clutching the bug to his chest in the west corner of the gym and swaying back and forth in a fedle position. "My precioius…" he said as though in a trance and he stroked the bug with the tenderness born of obsessive love. Everyone fell back anime-style, then got back up and sweatdropped. This school year was getting nuttier and nuttier every day…

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Fourteenthchapter! By the way, according to my info source, which is probably not completely accurate, **'Yowakusuru'** means **'sound'**. Sorry about my portrayal of Kin, for any Kin fans who might be out there, but I just wanted someone perky to make things interesting. In my story, Kin will be **_very_** OoC. Thanks for reading!


	15. Old Enemy?

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

-----Key to dialogue-----

"$$" Talking

'_$$' Thinking_

"**$$" Inner-self talking through outer self**

'_**$$' Inner-self thinking**_

-------

-----Gai's Gym class, Special Tuesday Tryouts-----

Everyone was sitting on the bleachers, waiting for the team varsity tryouts to begin. Sakura was still in Inner Sakura mode, and she was humming happily with anticipation. What she was trying out for was gonna freak Neji out soo bad…! Suddenly, heavy footfalls came pounding toward the gym. "WHERE IS SHE!" someone outside the room roared. Sakura's eyes got wide. She knew that voice anywhere… "WHERE IS SAKURA!"

Sakura gave a small 'eep' as the door was banged open viciously, and proceeded to duck behind Garaa. Garaa glared at her, but she seemed more afraid of whoever was looking for her than she was of him. A black-haired boy stormed into the room. He was wearing a black half-shirt with a full right sleeve and a cut away left one, black gloves, Skintight black pants, a black headband, and black Nike® Air Flight Hops™. His dark eyes blazed as he made his way to where Sakura was hiding, and she yelped and darted away. "GET YOUR PINK-HEADED ASS OVER HERE NOW!" he demanded. She shook her head.

"**LEAVE ME ALONE, SAI!"** Sakura shouted as she continued to flee from her elementary school nemesis. He chased after her, catching up in no time. **_'Damn,'_** Inner Sakura thought, **_'He got fast!'_** Sai grabbed her arm, bracing his body weight and stopping her in her tracks. His dark eyes flashed venomously.

"I haven't forgotten what happened between us before graduation, Sakura," he whispered in a tone that gave even the toughened Inner Sakura cold chills. He smiled wickedly as he reached into his pocket with his free hand, pulling a package of white things out of it and ripping the top off with his teeth. Sakura's eyes went wide and her face became paler than Neji, Sasuke, and Garaa had thought humanly possible. Sai put the package back in his pocket and took out one of the white things, holding it up triumphantly. It was… a marshmallow…

"You… you wouldn't…" Sakura stammered disbelievingly. Sai smiled maliciously.

"Oh yes I would…" Sakura visibly began to tremble. Sai smirked and the entire gym class was dumbfounded. **Sakura** was afraid of **_marshmallows_**! Sakura writhed as Sai's grip traveled up her arm and hooked around her neck. He shoved the marshmallow into her mouth and her green eyes finally broke their physical limitations, growing impossibly large.

A minute went by where time seemed to be frozen before Sakura unfroze. She spat the marshmallow out and kneed Sai in the nuts. He winced and let go, but apart from that, there was no sign that he was in pain. Sakura scampered clear to the opposite side of the gym, shivering and cowering. She was rocking slowly back and forth, repeating something incoherent under her breath over and over. The males in the room stared at Sai, amazed. He should have been in excruciating pain by now…

"I'm used to it," he said, shrugging as he noticed the looks they were giving him. "She did it all the time in elementary school. As for her fear of marshmallows, that is thanks to me. I traumatized her for life with them… Heheh…" The boys continued to stare. Anko and Tsunade chose that moment to enter the room. They froze for a moment as they saw the situation before regaining their composure. Tsunade coughed.

"Alright…" she said slowly as the attention was turned fully on her and Anko. "Well, now that we're here, we will begin the tryouts." By the time Sakura's turn came, she was ready again. Maybe this would scare Sai, too. She grinned as her name was called. Tsunade didn't say what she was trying out for, since she'd requested that she wouldn't. Sakura smiled and waved at everyone. They wouldn't know what hit them…

Tsunade handed her a weapon of mass destruction… A pair of drumsticks… Holding them just right, she hit the drums experimentally to make sure that they hadn't lost their tones, and then with a huge thumbs up at Anko, started to play. Every boy within a mile of it was struck dumb, including Sai, Neji and Sasuke. **_She_** played _drums! _Even Ino was shocked! She'd known Sakura for years, and had never once guessed she knew how to play an instrument! Had she taken lessons behind her best friend's back!

She was trying out for the school band! Sakura finished and grinned at the boys around the gym, taking a mental picture of all of their eyes swirling with confusion and their mouths agape in overlarge upside-down triangles with one sharp little tooth hanging out of one corner or another of their mouths. She ran up the bleachers to where Hinata was, smiling widely and with a slightly sinister gleam in her eyes as she glanced at Neji who was now staring at her full-on and with his white eyes wide. She stuck her tongue out at him, serving the purpose of snapping the stunned boy back into reality. He looked away sharply.

Sai was staring at her like she was some alien being from outer space. Sasuke was still gaping, and she'd even managed to get Shikamaru's attention away from his precious cloud-gazing with the volume and intensity of her performance. Taking on a very Naruto-like attitude, she leaned back against the wall, folding her arms comfortably behind her head. And sticking out her bottom lip when Neji looked at her, her eyes resembling something stuck half-way between a glare and a pout. It was comical, and the Hinata that was truly Inner Hinata burst out laughing. Very hard.

Sakura turned and smiled at her. **"I'm up by one, Hinata!"** the pink-haired maniac stated happily. Hinata looked at her and nodded.

"**I know that,"** Hinata chuckled. **"But that was too damn hilarious not to laugh at!"**

After everyone had tried out for their separate things, the bell rang and Sakura and Hinata stood up. Hinata was walking away while Sakura waved at her. **"Let's see you top that, Hinata!"** she yelled. Hinata looked back and smirked, still walking. She had plotting to do…

Sakura turned to Neji. He was staring at her again, and when waving her hand in front of his face and hugging him like she had after the "It's a Small World" trauma had failed to work, she breathed deeply, noting that she would probably regret this later. **"HOLY SHIT, NEJI!"** she screeched, pretending to panic. **"THE FRISBEE'S BACK!"** At this Neji jumped about a foot in the air and ducked down on instinct, effectively snapping him out of his own little world. Once he realized that Sakura was clutching her sides and biting her tongue to restrain the laughter she was holding in, he turned red with anger.

"GODDAMMIT, SAKURA!" he shouted in her face. "YOU SHAVED FIVE YEARS OFF MY LIFE, PULLING A STUNT LIKE THAT!" She just grinned at him crazily, and then laughed outright as she skipped merrily away from him. He glared after her until he couldn't see the distinct shine of her pink hair, then sighed. He nearly had to give Sasuke a concussion to get his attention, and momentarily regretted letting her leave without forcing her to wake him up. Garaa was much easier, waking up and lashing out at him when he got too close.

"Damn, Garaa," Neji grumbled grouchily. "Way to say 'thank you'. Garaa glared at him and then stalked away.

"Neji, we have to get serious with Pinky," Sasuke said deadpan as he stood next to his partner in crime. "We owe Pinky a lot of pain; you for the Frisbee, me for this damn rubber chicken she gave me for my birthday," he held out the rubber chicken, and then stuffed it mercilessly into his backpack, "and both of us for the 'It's a Small World' trauma she put us through, and now this batch of mental scarring. We'd better step it up a notch. Rock Lee is no longer a possibility for a weapon, but I'm sure that she has a lot more desperate fanboys who would kill if they thought it would attract their attention, so let's focus on finding as many of them as we can tomorrow." Neji nodded, and then both boys walked off in the direction of their own house, malicious schemes flinging themselves through their minds in the form of a single word; revenge.

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Chapter 15! Finally! I got stuck for a while deciding how to bring about the next change, and I finally got it!


	16. When Marshmallows Attack

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

-----Key to dialogue-----

"$$" Talking

'_$$' Thinking_

"**$$" Inner-self talking through outer self**

'**_$$' Inner-self thinking_**

-------

"Garaa, we require your assistance," Sasuke said easily.

"I'm listening, for now," Garaa growled.

"Good. We have a plan to get back at Pinky for everything she's done to us, but we need your participation," Neji interjected. Garaa nodded to show that he was still listening. "According to Sai, her only fears are marshmallows, and when boys are **_nice_** to her. So tonight, one of us will go out and plant marshmallows throughout her house, and from now on, we must be kind in front of her."

"I'm no good at being kind, but I can try if it's for revenge!" Garaa said clenching his fist as an image of the pink handball she'd sicked on him flashed through his mind.

"Then you'll be the one to plant the marshmallows tonight," Sasuke said, smiling. "Phase one of our revenge has begun…"

-------Sakura's Residence 12:05 AM-------

Garaa crept into Sakura's room silently. He'd picked the lock easily. _'Why me?'_ he asked himself for what had to be the twenty-second time tonight. She was sprawled on the bed. He watched for a minute before deciding that she wouldn't be waking up anytime soon. _'Thank Kami that she's such a sound sleeper!'_ he thought, relieved. He didn't like the possibility of being caught.

He carefully set marshmallows around her bed, in drawers, and closet. He stared off into space before going into the connected bathroom and hiding a few there. He crept back out and set up the remaining marshmallows in other various places where he was sure they'd be found. Look at his work, he smirked and left the house. She would be going over to Hinata's the next day, according to Neji, so Hyuuga would tell him the results later on.

--------6:00 Am--------

Sakura woke up with a big yawn, then lowered her foot to the ground. She was surprised when her foot fell on something soft and squishy. _**'Huh?'**_ she thought groggily, her brain still half asleep. Emerald eyes cracked open reluctantly and she looked down. **"ARRRGGG!"**

Sakura knocked on her friends door, then her eyes darted around suspiciously. She was still a little pale from her marshmallow encounter. Hinata opened the door and frowned at her friend;s harassed expression. Their bet was still on, but if even inner Sakura was showing it, this had to be pretty damn bad…

**"Hey, Sakura… Are you okay?"** she asked softly.

**"The… the… the marshmallows..." **she stammered. **"They were everywhere…"**

Neji was watching from a short distance away and laughing inwardly. _'How can anyone be afraid of **marshmallows**?'_ he asked himself. Neji was kind that whole day and night, and just like Sai had said she would, she panicked. Sakura stayed up until 3:00 AM, unbable to find comfort enough to sleep, but fatigue finally overcame her, and she slumped forward. Her mouth was open slightly, and Neji discovered that Sakura snored. It wasn't a disturbing sound like most peoples' snoring, but rather a soft snuffling and an occasionally mumbled 'evil Frisbee'.

Towards about 7:00 AM she said something different. She twitched a bit, having a nightmare. **"Stupid ass marshmallows! Leave me alone!"** she mumbled. Neji chuckled a bit. He was gonna traumatize her with marshmallows just like she had traumatized him with 'It's a Small Workd'. She eventually woke up, jerking out of sleep and sitting bolt upright. She gasped a bit.

**"Huh!"** she groaned when she noticed some next to her. **"Oh… Hiya Neji! Were you up all night?"** Neji nodded. **"Why?"** He just shrugged this time. She sighed at him. **"Fine, then,"** she grumbled.** "Don't tell me…"** After an hour, Hinata and the others woke up and they made breakfast. Sakura left in a considerably better mood than she'd had when she'd arrived. Waving at Hinata enthusiasticallu as she walked away, Neji snickered a bit. Boy would he have some stuff to tell Sasuke, Sai and Garaa when he met them later that day!

-------------------------

Sorry it's so short, but I did this at school since I'm grounded, so I didn't have much time! Again, I'm sooo sorry! Please follow the links on my profile page! They're really funny! Especially the one on the very bottom... I'm putting it up right now! It's called 'Naruto and the Chocolate Factory'!


	17. All Hell Breaks Loose

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

-----Key to dialogue-----

"$$" Talking

'_$$' Thinking_

"**$$" Inner-self talking through outer self**

'**_$$' Inner-self thinking_**

-------

_**WARNING! VERY WEIRD CHAPTER! MUCH OoC-NESS!**_

-------

"Haruno," Neji greeted, sliding into his seat.

"**Hyuuga**," Sakura replied before casting him a sidelong glance. She wasn't very comfortable around him right now… Hyuuga Neji, her enemy, had been **nice** to her at Hinata's slumber party. That couldn't be a good sign… She stared out the window absently, noticing nothing and everything around her all at once as she brooded over the incident. A flash of blue drew her out of her stupor as it hurtled at the window.

Sasuke dove under his desk as the glass window shattered loudly, followed by the light tickling of glass on linoleum. Sakura squinted as the object that had broken the window emerged from the shower of sharp projectiles, aiming for Neji. She gasped as the evil Frisbee manifested itself once more, striking the already stunned boy and knocking him neatly to the floor, out cold. Sakura leaned over him, a little worried. "…**Neji**…?" she whispered tentatively.

Neji didn't respond, so Sakura tried getting angry. **"Girly-man! Don't you dare get killed by that stupid Frisbee!"** she half-shouted. **"If you die, who am I supposed to irritate!"** She shook him a bit for a full ten minutes before he finally started to regain his conciousness. He groaned a little as he came to, but he seemed okay… Save for the weird vibes Sakura was getting from him now that he was awake again…

She backed up as he stood, inching away from him as the vibes got worse. Neji watched her as she did, a weird look flitting across his face for a split second before being replaced by a smirk. **"Umm… Girly-man?"** Sakura asked nervously. **"Are you feeling okay? That's the longest you've ever been knocked out for…"** He just nodded as she continued to back away. **"Oh… Okay… Then I guess I'll just be going now… Bye!"** Sakura stammered as she began to walk towards the door.

A hand clamped onto her wrist, and she turned around to face Neji. Sasuke was behind him, looking a little confused by the way his accomplice was behaving. Sakura tried to pull her arm away from the grip Neji had on it, but he didn't seem to want to let go. **"Why're you trying to get away from me?" **he asked after she began to squirm with anxiety. Sakura turned her green eyed gaze to him, uncertainty clearly written across her features.

"**Because the way you're acting is starting to creep me out,"** she answered after a moment's hesitation. **"Just let go already. Don't make me have to use force!"** He just smirked even more at that, leaning in a bit.

"**What would you ever be able to do that could deter me?"** he asked, dropping his voice to a deep whisper. She shivered a bit, not liking the feeling in her gut. It was a kind of 'impending doom' gut instinct type of feeling.

"**Just get away from me!"** Sakura yelled, getting more uncomfortable, but also a little angry. She gave a sharp tug on her arm that just ended up bringing her crashing into him when he braced himself where he was standing. She looked up at him, more pissed off than nervous by this point. **"Girly-man!"** she hissed out. **"Let go of me, or I'll make it so that you'll never have kids!"**

"**You couldn't do that to me, Sakura," **he growled.

"**Wanna bet?"** came the retort. **"Why wouldn't I be able to?"**

"**Yes, I would like to bet,"** he replied. **"As for the reason why, that will be made very clear…"**

With that last statement, Neji leaned even closer to Sakura, and her eyes went wide. He kissed her. Sakura went rigid, completely stiff, and utterly shocked by what he was doing. He pulled away, still smirking at her.

"**Wh… WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT, HYUUGA!"** Sakura shouted after she recovered. **"I JUST DON'T GET YOU! WHAT IN SEVEN HELLS IS WRONG WITH YOU! WE'RE _ENEMIES_, NOT BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND! WE AREN'T EVEN FRIENDS!"** Neji shrugged while she stopped her ranting to breathe.

"**Don't tell me that you didn't enjoy that at all. You know you did…"** he taunted.

"**GRRR… NEJI, YOU FREAKIN' BASTARD! YOU ARE _SOO_ DEAD!"** Sakura yelled as she whacked him over the head. Neji shielded him head with his arms protectively where she'd clobbered him and glared at her.

" HARUNO! What'd you do that for!" he hissed through his clenched teeth. Sakura gaped at him in disbelief, mouth opening and closing as she tried to form words. Sasuke was doing that same, looking very much like a cross between a chicken and a fish.

'_What the-?'_ his addled brain mused. He was just as confused as Sakura about Neji's actions. _'What the hell is wrong with Hyuuga!'_

"…**YOU MEAN YOU DON'T REMEMBER!"** Sakura finally managed.

"Remember? Remember what?" He asked. He really had no idea what she was talking about.

"**ARRGG!" **she screamed, throwing up her hands in frustration. He raised an eyebrow at her. **"FUCK IT ALL! JUST FORGET I SAID ANYTHING!"** she cried out, fed up with this crap. She stomped out of the room in the direction of the cafeteria, muttering, glowering, and casting a murderous glared at anyone who dared come within twenty feet of her person.

Neji stayed away from the enraged pink-headed teen for the rest of the day, seeing as she'd tried to kill him when he'd asked about what he was supposed to remember at lunch. Sasuke was twitching almost constantly for an hour. Sakura… Well, let's just say that I feel **really** bad for anyone who so much as dropped a pin around her…

-------------------------

Thus the strangest chapter I have ever dared to write is complete! My parents aren't home right now, so I snuck on to get the chapter up! This was a fun chapter to write! Just so you know, when the Frisbee nailed him, Neji's inner-self was awakened… I'm gonna have fun with an inner Neji popping up every now and again… BWAHAHAHA!


	18. More Problems Arise

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

-----Key to dialogue-----

"$$" Talking

'_$$' Thinking_

"**$$" Inner-self talking through outer self**

'_**$$' Inner-self thinking**_

-------

Sakura kicked at the ground as she sat on the couch, thinking things over. Inner Sakura was still in control, but both personalities were conversing.

'**_What in seven hells was that all about!'_** Inner Sakura raged.

'_You mean what Neji did?'_ the normal Sakura asked absently. _'I dunno, but… we have an even bigger problem…'_

'**_And that would be…?'_** Inner Sakura asked, still fuming.

'_Umm… well… I think what he did kinda, sorta… split my personality again…'_ came the nervous reply.

'**_Dammit…'_** Inner Sakura cursed. **_'We'll be in deep shit if we have to deal with a third personality… Crap…'_**

'_The bet with Hinata ends after school on Monday,' _normal Sakura pointed out, effectively changing the subject._ 'Today is Saturday! We have to get Neji back before then!'_

'**_I've already got it covered…'_** Inner Sakura hissed menacingly, **_'… and what I've got planned is gonna scar Girly-man for the rest of his life!'_**

'_Awesomeness!" _normal Sakura cheered, pumping her fist in the air. _'Oh yeah… Just make sure it doesn't kill him… I'll get in big trouble if it does…' _she added as an afterthought.

'**_Sigh… Fine…'_** Inner Sakura mumbled. Inner Sakura became a part of reality again, coming out of the depths of her mind, but not before thinking one last thing. **_'I wonder what our newest personality is like…'_**

Monday came around, and Sakura walked into class, sitting in her seat between Neji and Sasuke. Neji shifted uncomfortably. If she was still in the mood she'd been in last Friday, then he might be dead by the end of school… He still didn't remember what he'd done to piss her off so much, though…

"**Hiya, Girly-man! G-morning, Pretty-boy!"** Sakura greeted, with a slightly evil grin. Not a good sign… **"Hey Neji, I got a new pet! Look!"** She dug for something in her backpack as he looked at her with an eyebrow raised. That had not sounded her age… What was she up to this time?

Apparently, Sakura found what she was looking for, because she laughed as she pulled back her hand. Something was in her closed hand, and she raised it to his face with a big smile.

"**This is Bob!"** she exclaimed before opening her hand.

"AIEEEEEEE!" Neji screamed as he jumped out of his seat and ran to the other end of the room. The whole class turned to look at them, glancing from what Sakura was holding to the terrified Neji. There, on Sakura's upturned palm, was the biggest and slimiest snail any of them had ever seen. Sakura got up and advanced toward Neji. His eyes were fixed on the snail, and he was pressing his back against the wall behind him as if he wished he could sink through it to escape from the 'deadly' Bob.

Hinata finally couldn't take it, and broke into a fit of laughter. She fell out of her seat in her mirth and rolled around on the ground. When she finally clutched the edge of her desk and pulled herself up, there were tears in the corners of her eyes.

"**Oh my freakin' God!" **the still chuckling Hinata gasped. **"Sakura! How come you didn't tell me he was afraid of snails! Awwww… Oh well… At least Neji's starting to own up to his nickname! That sounded like one of Ino's screams!"** She wiped away the tears as she sat back down. The door opened, and everyone except Neji, who was still staring at 'Bob', turned their attention to it.

"Hello, my enigmatic pupils!" Kakashi said with a wave as he walked in with his visible eye closed merrily and a smile forming creases in his mask. "Sorry to keep you all waiting, but-…" he trailed off as he opened his eye and his gaze fell on Neji and Sakura. His eye went wide in surprise. Sakura giggled behind her unoccupied hand.

"**Hinata, you'd better step your plots up a notch, or I'm gonna win this!"** Sakura said happily. **"I'm beating you by 2 points!"** Hinata nodded.

"**Don't worry…"** she retorted. **"I've got a few things worked out… Very, very, entertaining things…"**

"Ahem…" Kakashi cleared his throat, drawing everyone attention again. "Sakura, please put the snail outside of my classroom and get back to your seat. Neji, sit down. We have a test to take today, and not much time to take it." Sakura pouted at him, but obeyed, placing the snail in a bush by the door and coming back inside, getting into her seat again. Neji narrowed his eyes at her. Who knew? She might have brought more with her… He returned to his seat anyway, getting out his pencil.

Kakashi passed out the tests, and they began. Sakura took only ten minutes to bubble in all 50 of the test questions, and Neji, who was still a bit shaken by his encounter with 'Bob', took twelve. They flipped their tests over and waited for the period to end.

Hinata was pacing her own pranks, making sure that they were unexpected and that Sakura would not have time between them to pull off any more of her own. At break, Hinata acted aggressively, punching Neji in the face when he tapped her shoulder. It hadn't annoyed her, but when he held his bruised jaw and asked her why she'd done that, she just shrugged and grinned. 'Cuz I felt like it,' she had answered. Neji was shocked. Since when was Hinata strong enough to inflict pain and physical harm?

Lunch was her next phase. She stuck two big snails on his shirt, right in the middle of his back, where he couldn't reach them. Sasuke had pointed them out, and Neji had gone white when he'd revealed the person who did it. Sasuke helped get the snails off, and Neji had stayed far away from Hinata until PE, when he got paired with her to do a sport of their choice.

"You two must appreciate the springtime of youth!" Gai cried out dramatically. "You are family! Embrace it together!" Hinata's mouth dropped open. In five seconds, she shut it again, and slapped Gai.

"**Can you please STOP BEING SO DAMN GAY!" **she shouted, shaking the stunned man by the shoulders as anime tears ran down his face.

"When did you become so youthful?" he asked, sniffling with happiness. Hinata's eyes narrowed.

"**I just asked you to stop being so gay!"** she said as she released his shoulders, disgusted. Lee ran up and hugged Gai, screaming about how his sensei was so wise and all that crap. **"CUT IT OUT! YOU TWO ARE GONNA MAKE MY EYES BLEED!"** They blinked at her, but stopped, nonetheless.

Hinata got her backpack and peered into it. Neji raised an eyebrow at her. After what she'd done earlier, he hoped his cousin didn't have a textbook or something in there…

"**I've already got the perfect sport for us to play!"** she said excitedly. **"Ne, Neji! Let's play… FRISBEE!"** She held out the evil blue monster. Neji backed away.

"H-Hinata… You have resurrected the ultimate evil!" he yelled, panicking. If that Frisbee hit him enough, he might end up with a lower mental capacity than Uzumaki! "Put it down before-AHHHHHH!" he screamed as she tossed it at him. He ran from it. Sakura had gotten Gaara and had happily thrown the evil pink handball at him, whereas Sasuke was being attacked by his rubber chicken, screaming 'IT'S ALIVE!'. They crashed into each other.

After school, Sakura and Hinata met in front of the gates. Both girls shoved away their inner selves, returning to their normal personalities. In Hinata's case, the difference was huge. In Sakura's, not so much. Hinata still managed to give her a triumphant, though a bit shy, smile. Sakura sighed in defeat.

"I can't believe you won! Good job, though!" Sakura told her. "I must be losing my touch… Oh well. So Hinata, what do you want as your prize?" Hinata played with her index fingers.

"Sakura-chan…" she started off. "I don't want anything… I actually had… fun… messing with Neji… for once… It's usually the other way around… That's prize enough…"

"Hinata, you're too modest," Sakura scolded. "When you come up with something, tell me. Just think about it, okay?" Hinata nodded. Sakura blinked as Neji walked up to them, thouroughly ticked off. Hinata had told him about their bet just before the end of PE. He was not amused… Sakura got an odd feeling, like she did whenever Inner Sakura tried to force her way out.

"Urk…" she said as her newest side finally managed to free itself. Sakura started jumping up and down in a hyper way. It looked like she was on sugar high. "Puppies!" she shouted. "I love puppies! Do like puppies, Girly-man? Puppies and flowers and sunshine! ... I MISS BOB!" Well that had been totally random… Sakura gasped, returning to normal. WHAT THE HELL! She ran away before something worse had a chance to happen.

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

I updated! Sorry for the wait, but I was grounded for a long time, and all last week I wasted Spring Vacation with my grandmother in Michigan, and she didn't have internet access! Again; I'm sorry!


	19. A Trip To The Petting Zoo

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of an exchange student makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignifigant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

* * *

"Ne, Neji, Sasuke, Ino, Tenten, Hinata, Gaara Temari, Kankuro, Shino, Kiba, Naruto, Sai, Shikamaru, Chouji, Lee, Asuma-sensei, Kakashi-sensei, Kurenai-sensei, Gai-sensei!" Sakura called out to everyone, drawing their attention. Her eyes where in little stars as she bounced up and down in her excitment. (Like the look in Kakashi's eye in the Anime/Manga, when he used 'Konoha Supreme Taijutsu: 1000 Years of Pain', but on Sakura and in both eyes and smiling eagerly with a dreamy expression) "We're all going to take a trip to the Petting Zoo that just opened up in the hills! It's gonna be sooo fuckin' awesome!" Some people glared at her. 

"Do you really think that we're just gonna let you drag us wherever you want us to go, Pinky?" Sasuke finally asked. She grinned at him and held something in front of him. Sasuke snatched at it and his eyes went wide as he saw what was on the paper. It was a snapshot of when he had accidently kissed Naruto. "W...Where did you get THIS!" he yelled, panicking. Suddenly, he froze as you could almost see a lightbulb come on above his head. He slowly smirked at Sakura and ripped up the paper. She gawked at him and he stared at her smugly. Out of nowhere, she started giggling, making Sasuke frown. "Don't you dare tell me... you have more copies of this..." he hissed.

"Of course I do!" Sakura said as her giggling died down. "If you don't come, guess what's going to be the Headliner of tomorrow's newspaper! Aaaaannnnndddd... All over the INTERNET! Everyone, on an INTERNATIONAL SCALE, will know!" He gazed at her in horror.

"...You vile-You evil-grrrr... Fine... I'll come..." he finally got out. She smiled and pranced over to Neji, who gave her a suspicious look.

"Neji, Sasuke's coming!" Sakura cheered. "You should come, too!" He glared.

"...And if I refuse...?" he growled.

"If you refuse..." she mused thoughfully, "I will force-feed you ESCARGO!" Neji blanched, turning a very light shade of green.

"...I'll go..." he grumbled. "Just keep those nasty French-fried snails away from me..." She bounced off to blackmail everyone else. Soon they were all standing outside the gates of the newly-erected petting zoo. It was HUGE! Sakura personally did a headcount as everyone walked in. She didn't think they'd sacrafice their dignities just to escape a trip to a petting zoo, but you could never be too careful...

They stood there before setting off in different directions to see what they could. After a few minutes, screams of terror erupted from many directions.

* * *

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!" Kankuro screeched as he shrunk back in terror from the almost literal wave of... "TERMITES!"

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Sasuke yelled as at least twenty chickens began to chase after him. "KILLER POULTRY! RABID CHICKEN ATTACK! SOMEBODY GET ME A GUN!"

* * *

"N-Naruto-kun..." Hinata stammered as she saw the orange-cladboy bent over a small pen. She got closer as Naruto looked up. 

"HIYA, HINATA-CHAN!" the blonde shouted energetically. "Do you wanna pet the bunnies with me, Hinata-chan? They're really sweet and soft!" Hinata's white eyes went wide and she trembled, backing away a bit.

"B-B-B-Bunnies...?" she asked nervously. Naruto picked one up and grinned at the poor girl, not seeing the real picture. He shuffled over to her.

"Yeah, Hinata-chan!" Naruto replied happily, blind to Hinata's obvious discomfort. "Bunnies! Do you wanna try holding one?" He placed the rabbit in her arms and she froze up. The rabbit sniffed at her hand before biting on her left index finger. She yelped and dropped the rabbit, scrambling into the farthest corner of the 'rabbit hutch' and curling up, her whole body shaking. She began to rock back and forth, slowly, from her feedle position. It was just like the last time... "Nani! Hinata-chan! Daijoubou desu ka! Hinata-chaaaaannnn!" Naruto wailed, but she couldn't hear him anymore. She was in her own world, submerged in her own memories.

"L-Little B-Bunny F-Foo-Foo..." she began to chant to herself in a hollow, far-awayvoice. Naruto stared at her open-mouthed, puzzled by her sudden behavior. "...I-I d-don't w-want t-to s-see y-you..."

* * *

Ino laughed maniacally as she a Chouji strapped the sleeping Shikamaru to a horse's saddle. The lazy boy woke to Ino's 'evil-incarnate' face and he gulped. 

"I-Ino..." he managed to get out, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" She just smiled.

"Sorry, Lazy-Ass-Pineapple-Head," she replied gleefully, "but me and Chouji decided it's finally time for you to face your one, true, fear!" She waved and slapped the horse's flank. The horse whinnied and reared before taking off. Shikamaru screamed like a little girl as the horse bucked time and time again, hoping to dear G that the straps keeping him from being flung off didn't come undone...

Ino laughed crazily, but stopped as she turned away, the laughter dying in her throat. She gulped. "N-N-Nice piggy..." she stammered as she backed away with her hands up in front of her in a surrendering way. "You wouldn't want to hurt _me_, right? I'll just be going now, and-HOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY SSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTT!" she screamed as she ran from a mob of fat pigs.

Chouji continued to munch on his chips when something semi-sharp hit the top of his head. He looked up and gawked.

"There're ostriches here, too?" he asked dumbly. "H-Hey! Ow! Cut it out! Ow! Itai!" The big bird pecked mercilessly at Chouji's head. Chouji ran from the monster bird, but ostriches on land can easily overtake a 'uniquely pleasantly plump' person like him. He covered his abused head as he scurried, trying desperately to find some form of escape. "ITAI!"

* * *

Shino slowly backed away from the beast that was stalking him, staring at his bugs with a hungry look in its eyes. 

"Don't eat my bugs!" he pretty much pleaded with the gigantic anteater that was watching every move he made like a hawk. It just got closer. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

* * *

"Akamaru... run... I'll keep it busy... Just run and don't look back!" Kiba told his faithful companion. Akamaru whined. Kiba began sweating as the horrible sound filled his ears, drowning out all other sounds. 

"N-N-NO! STAY AWAY, SCOURGE FROM THE PITS OF HELL!" Kiba shouted as the gargatuan object of his terror continued to adavance.

**-I LIKE CHICKEN, I LIKE LIVER, MEOW-MIX, MEOW-MIX, PLEASE DELIVER!-** it responded in a mechanical voice. A cat was approaching... A huge cat... but even worse was the fact that... it wouldn't stop singing the Meow-Mix commercial song, and they were powerless to stop it!

"NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Kiba screamed as he sun to his knees. He was almost sure his ears were bleeding! HE COULDN'T TAKE IT, GODDAMMIT! He collapsed, and Akamaru soon followed.

* * *

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! THIS CAN'T BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Temari screeched, pointing in morbid facination at the object of her fear. Her terrorist blinked at her, earning another shriek. "IT'S SOOOOOOOO DAMN UGLY! IT'S GOT NO FUR! KAMI-SAMA! KILL ME NOW!" She threw her hands in the air and fled. The naked mole rat cocked its head at her in a curious manner, still blinking at her retreating sillouette.

* * *

"AHHHHH! DIRTYDIRTYDIRTYDIRTYDIRTY!" Rock Lee screamed hysterically as he ran around in circles. He came to a screeching halt, loking down in horror at something only he could see. "GAHHH! GERMS! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE! THEY SHALL DESTROY US ALL!" (For anyone who gives a shit, Rock Lee has become a temporary victim of Shizophrenia. Look t up in Wikipedia if you don't know what that is.)

* * *

Out of nowhere, Itachi and Kisame meterialize in a mini-aquarium room. There is only one fish in the tank. It's a guppy, and it is about as long as Kisame's finger. Laughing, Kisame taps on the glass, teasing the fish, which suddenly bares a mouth of long, serrated teeth at him and throws itself at the glass. Itachi left the room as cracks appeared on the tank's surface. The guppy landed on Kisame's sandaled foot. 

"Uh... Nice... fishy...?" he stammered nervously. -CHOMP- "GYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

Itachi walked out of the fish room... and into a sea of red and silver foxes, each with gleaming yellow eyes. Itachi ran in fright. His freakin' NAME was WEASLE! They were gonna EAT HIM! Somewhere nearby, Naruto snickered. 

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed evily. He stood on a roof with his arms outstretched. It was a seemingly powerful stance. Closer scruntiny reveal that his irises had turned red, and his pupils had become slits. Red chakra formed into fox-like features as he continued to watch Itachi run around in endless circles. "Go, my minions! Go!"

* * *

"GUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Kakashi shrieked as two very scray looking handcrafted dolls launched themselves at him. They gnashed their pointy little teeth. Ducking under the two 'things', Kakashi ran away, anime tears streaming down his face as he clutched his precious Icha Icha Paradise to his chest. "FEAR NOT, MY BELOVED!" he sobbed to his perverted book. "I WILL PROTECT YOU FROM THE EVIL PARENTS OF CHUCKIE! EEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK!"

* * *

A rock nailed Gai in the head, slightly messing up his hair. He looked at the rock and gasped in horror, twisting his head in every direction suspiciously."M-My... My HAIR!" he sobbed. Suddenly he was up on his feet, alert. "This tactic... it can only mean one thing... this is the work of... UYSOFI! The 'UnYouthful Society Of Gay Faggot Irradication' is after my life once again!" He screamed in terror and ran in circles, screaming his head off and flailing his arms.

* * *

Asuma lit up a cigarette, but before he could raise it to his mouth, he heard a loud snarl. Looking up, he saw... a... bear with a fire helmet...? 

"Put out that fire!" the bear demamded. Asuma glared.

"Who the hell are you!" he asked. "I don't do nothin' for nobody if'n I don' wanna!" The bear's paw descended, grabbing his collar firmly and lifting him so that they were eye-level.

"I am Smokey Bear!" Smokey roared. Asuma was officially afraid of this being from hell. "NOW PUT OUT THAT FUCKING FIRE!" He threw Asuma down.

"Y-Yessir..." Asuma hastily complied, snuffing it out beneath his foot. The bear changed, looking friendly, and Asuma sighed in relief. Smokey smaked him across the face, then proceeded to chase him around, snarling and growling.

"UWAH!"

* * *

"Super Fist of the Nosehair!" Kurenai spun around alarmed, and got nailed by five fool long, inch thick nosehairs. Flying back, she landed on something soft. She got off fast. A little orange thing that looked a bit like a sun stood there. Behind her, she saw the man who had just hit her. He was tall and wore a blue shirt, and long black pants. He had sunglasses on and had a blonde afro. 

"So, sweetcheecks... give up yet?" the little orange thing asked with a gangster-type accent. She stared at it.

"Who in seven hells are you people!" she asked.

"The name's Bobobo Bobo Bobo, but you can call me Bobobo!" shouted the afro dude.

"I'm Don Patch," the orange thing replied. A pink-haired girl popped up out of nowhere.

"Bobobo! What do you think you're doing!" she asked as a kid with spiky white hair and a skull on his black T-shirt made himself known.

"Playin' chess with Don Patch, Beauty. What's it look like?" Bobobo replied. Kurenai craned her neck to them. Somehow, they were now sitting at a table with a chess board between them. While she watched them, there was a tap at her shoulder, and she looked at the offending person.

"What the-? How the-?" she stammered, looking back to Bobobo. Don Patch was still across from him, but now there was another Don Patch in front of her, wearing lipstick and looking astoundigly more feminine. Don Patch shuffle through his purse and took out a wallet. Taking out a twenty, he held it up.

"Excuse me Ms, but do you happen to have change for a twenty?" he asked in a rather girly voice. -Thud- Kurenai fainted from the randomness of it all, her eyes swirling. "...I'll take that as a no..."

* * *

"YATTA!" came a familiar voice as Orochimaru and his disciple Kabuto appeared out of thin air in the middle of things. Looking around, they were confused by the randomness going on. "ITAI!" Orochimaru shouted as he felt sharp teeth peircing his left leg. Looking down he saw a mongoose with foam coming out of its mouth. The mongoose had also brought friends... as he was now amidst a sea of mongoose! Kabuto rushed to help his, but was cut off by... a flying bowl of chicken noodle soup? He ran away. He'd had some baaadddd experiences with chicken noodle soup...

* * *

Sakura backed away as the human-sized marshmallows lumbered towards her. She darted away, hiding behind Gaara and shivering. His eyes got big when he saw what she was running from, and he pushed her back in front of himself. She pushed him back. He pushed her. She kept pushing back. 

"Gaara! How can you be so insensitive?" Sakura whined. Gaara grunted. "C'mon! I'm the sexy babe in distress, over here! For once in your life, use chivalry!"

"...Sexy...babe...?" Gaara asked, confused. "If you do see any sexy babes, let me know, cuz I don't see any..." She whacked him, and he was about to kill her when the marshmallows gave an ear-shattering screech. If a few seconds, as what had scared away the vicious marshmallows drew into hearing distance, they found out, and both of them clung to each other, not caring that they hated each other right then. They trembled.

**-I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug, and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me, too?-**

"AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Sakura screamed.

AUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH! MAKE IT STOP!" Gaara yelled as he clutched his ears and writhed in pain and agony. It ddn't stop, and a purple dinosaur with a green belly and green spots on its back stepped out of the shadows.

* * *

Choas reigned, but this was just the beginings! Neji became a human magnet! Botls and screws and nails came at him. He was stopping them all, but he was getting tired. Just before he could block another one, there was something blue obscurring his vison. 

_'Oh, shit...' _he thought as the evil toys appeared. Then there was something wet-ish on the back of his neck. He poked it, hoping against hope that he was somehow wrong, and that what was on him wasn't what he knew it was. _'Crap! Don't let the DCOBAETFH, the 'Dastardly Circle Of Bloodthristy ToysFrom Hell', be back again!'_He pulled it off. "UUUUWWWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! BOB IS BACK! GODDAMMIT ALL!"

* * *

At the entrance to the petting zoo, a sign with the Petting Zoo's name stood with something crossed out. Looking really close, one could just make out a D, O, O, M...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Heheh... So... how was this one? Any opinions? My friend, who posted a review for chapters 18 and 17, helped me come up with all this stuff, so kudos to my friend! For giving me my inspirations! (This took hours to type! Yay! 2,500 something words! Longest one I've ever typed! Hope you all like it!)


	20. Red, White, and Blue: The Revenge

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

-----Key to dialogue-----

"$$" Talking

'_$$' Thinking_

"**$$" Inner-self talking through outer self**

'_**$$' Inner-self thinking**_

-------

"…Augh… I feel like I got hit by a freight train and stabbed by ten-thousand kunai…" Sasuke muttered as he regained conciousness. "What in seven hells happened to me?" Everyone else lay scattered all over the ground around him in various states of pain, agony and utter humiliation. He rubbed his temples tenderly with his thumb and index finger, trying to ease the headache. His eyes snapped open as the memories came flooding back.

"I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS FUCKING PETTING ZOO FIASCO, PINKY!" he yelled to the sky, shaking his fist. He clutched his throbbing head. "…Just as soon as I get some Asprin…"

-------------------------------------------------

"BOB! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO STAY HOME!" a hyper Sakura berated the poor snail crawling away from her white-eyed nemesis. Said male stared at her, his eyes twitching compulsively. "…Uh… -Gulp-" Sakura suddenly felt the huge killing intent rolling off of her friends and enemies in waves. Inner Sakura screamed bloody murder as her counterpart stood there and scratched her head nervously. "Heheh… No hard feelings, right guys? Guys? AIIIEEEE! DON'T HURT ME!"

-------------------------------------------------

"How could you betray your best friend, Ino-pig!" Sakura asked in a hurt tone as she sat next to the blonde, perched on a sturdy branch of a flowering Sakura tree as she nursed the bruise her 'friend' had inflicted upon her. Sakura swung her legs in a very child-like manner, relaxing as she breathed the aroma of cherry blossoms. All of a sudden, she spotted someone she knew walking toward the tree she sat in with a sketchbook in his hands.

"Hiya, Sai!" Sakura called out to him. Ino smirked and left, not making a sound. Sai's head snapped up and he scanned the area wildly. That had sounded a lot like Sakura… "Sai, you asshole! Say something!" He spun towards the direction from which the voice had come, his eyes wide as he saw nothing but the wide trunk of a sakura tree.

"NOOO! THE EVIL SAKURA TREES FROM HELL HAVE EATEN PINKY!" he yelled, panicking. "I'M PROBABLY NEXT! I WOULD TASTE WAAAAY BETTER THAN HARUNO! RUN AWAY SCREAMING LIKE LITTLE GIRLS!"

Sai ran around in a tight circle a few times before bashing into another cherry tree. Jumping backward, he shook with fear as he ran away. "SEE! THEY REALLY ARE AFTER ME!" He yelled. Sakura watched his fast-vanishing sillouhette with wide eyes and sweat-dropped.

---------------------------------------------------

"What'll we do about Pinky? Any suggestions?" Neji asked the gathered males. Neither responded, so he smirked, leaning closer. "Good. Then we'll use mine. Get ready for plan CHIVALRY, men…" Gaara and Sasuke leaned in as well, intrigued. Neji passed out small communications devices, handing them to his fellow victims of Sakura's mirth. "Gaara, your codename is Red, Sasuke's is Blue, and mine is White. Here's what we're gonna do…"

------------1:30 PM Gym Class-------------

Sakura stomped angrily out of the girls' changing room, eliciting a loud snort and a few giggles from Ino. Somebody had taken her uniform and replaced it with a boy's uniform. The uniform consisted of a forest-green T-shirt and olive shorts. The shirt was about 10 times too big for her, making it seem more like a nightgown. Sakura glared. Damn that Ino-pig! It wasn't her goddamned fault that she was petite!

"**Shut the fuck up, Ino-porkenstein! I'm really pissed off right now!"** Sakura growled at her. Uh-oh… That tone in her voice could only mean one thing…! INNER SAKURA! Ino's eyes got big and she gave a small whimper. Inner Sakura scared the crap out of her…

Gaara smirked from his seat behind the two girls, flicking the switch to his mini-microphone on.

"Red to Blue and White. Phase one is a success. Inner Sakura has taken over…" he hissed into the small device. A low chuckle was heard.

"That was faster than I thought it would be…" Neji said. Gaara could hear how much he was smirking, since it was enough to reflect in his voice. "Alright. Initiate phase two. Get to it, Blue."

"…Roger that, White. Good work, Red. I had no idea that would get her so worked up," Sasuke's smooth voice replied.

------------------------------------------

"Welcome back, my wonderful, youthful stu-…" Gai stopped as Sakura's killer glare fell on him. He shivered. "Uh… Never mind… Lets just… err... pick partners and… do your own youthful activities…?" He glanced nervously at the pink-haired terror, sighing in relief when he received no negative reaction.

Everyone started to pick partners. Sakura was about to ask Ino, but Shikamaru actually got up off his lazy ass and asked her to be his partner. Sakura grinned in spite of her bad mood, which quickly turned into a big sweat-drop as he managed to convince Ino that cloud gazing was a physical sport. Ino was snoring in under three minutes, dead asleep and bored already.

A hand tapped her shoulder tentatively and she whipped around. If it were one of her fanboys, perfect record or not, she would pound his skull in. Her eyes softened dramatically as her emerald gaze fell onto the nervous white one of Hyuuga Hinata.

"Hey, Hinata-chan… Don't you wanna work with Naruto?" she asked slyly, grinning broadly when Hinata's pale face went through at least twelve different shades of red.

"Naruto-kun probably has someone else in mind…" she muttered nervously. Her face seemed to have decided what color it wanted to be as it remained at a deep crimson. Before she could blink, Sakura was pulling her towards the blonde fox-like boy.

"Naruto! Have you met my friend Hinata-chan?" Sakura called out. Naruto turned and smiled. In less than a second, he was hugging the life out of the madly blushing Hinata, who looked like she was going to faint.

"HINATA-CHAN! YOU'RE OKAY!" he exclaimed happily. "I was worried about you, after that bunny thing!" Sakura giggled as she backed away from them, trying not to ruin their 'moment'.

Three shadows loomed above her. She spun around to find one Girly-man, a Chicken-hair, and a Cream-puff. She backed up two steps on instinct.

'_Shit…'_ she thought as she noticed the reason. _'I was so busy playing 'matchmaker' that I didn't pick a partner. Now I'll have to pick one of these bastards!'_

"Uh, Sasuke? You wanna arm wrestle, or something? I'm in the mood for something violent," Sakura was no longer Inner Sakura, but she still needed to let off some steam on some form or another. She was opting for the violent way.

The three boys glanced at each other in silent communication. She wasn't allowing her Inner-self free-reign anymore, so this could set them back a bit. Small nods went unnoticed by the pink-headed girl, who was busy watching a fly that was buzzing nearby. Her hand shot out as it came close enough. She whacked the unfortunate fly right out of the air, the impact stunning it, and she promptly crushed the annoying pest into pavement paint with the toe of her shoe.

"Arm wrestle?" Sasuke pretended to consider it. "Why not? I got nothin' better to do…"

Neji and Gaara paired up and began to do some cleansing meditation, though they were really speaking to each other over the communication devices that they kept hidden. They could only watch and hope that by the time the opportunity came for Sasuke to enact the second phase, Inner-Sakura would be running rampant again.

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Sorry… It's late and I'm tired… I'll probably try to come back and add on to this chapter later, but for now, I need sleep. Damn… I have school when I wake up… Damn school…


	21. Red, White, and Blue: The Revenge II

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

-----Key to dialogue-----

"$$" Talking

'_$$' Thinking_

"**$$" Inner-self talking through outer self**

'_**$$' Inner-self thinking**_

-------

"Grrr..." Sakura growled as they realized that she and Sasuke were too evenly matched. Sasuke probably wasn't feeling good, or something. Inner Sakura was bouncing off the mental walls in a corner of her mind, closer to breaking free with every passing second.

**_"Let me at him!"_** Inner Sakura screeched. Sakura couldn't take it, so she relented, letting her violent and fiesty inner-self take over. Suddenly, Sasuke's eyes got big as Sakura's eyes had twin flames shooting from them and her pout turned into a malicious smirk. She slammed his hand onto the table with a huge burst of strength and jumped up, pumping both fists into the air.

**"Hell yeah, baby! In your face, Chicken-hair!"**

Sasuke banged his head on the table with frustration, but in his head, he was smirking victoriously. Inner Sakura was out once again! The bell rang a few minutes later. Still smirking inside, Sasuke beat her to the gym doors, holding them open as she went through. She froze two steps out the door and turned back to him with a horrified expression.

**"Holy shit!"**she yelled. **"Who the hell are you, and what have you done with Pretty-boy!"** Sasuke raised an eyebrow at her and leaned against the wall with his arms crossed defiantly over his chest.

"Come on, Pinky," he said in a bored tone while shrugging. "Even _I_ am capable of doing something nice every once in a while." She backed away from him, totally freaking out. Her eyes were wide as she spun on her heel and fled from him, quickly dissappearing around the corner.

"...-position, Blue?" Sasuke flipped up the frequency.

"What did you say?" he asked his partners in crime.

"What is your position, Blue?" Neji's voice repeated.

"Hallway, just outside of the gym," he answered.

"Is phase two complete, Blue? Can we proceed to phase three?" Gaara asked.

"Yeah," Sasuke responded. "You're up, White. I trust you're in position?"

"Yes..." Neji hissed. "I'm in position. She's coming. Initiate phase three, men."

---------------

Neji walked towards the exit of the school slowly and whipped around as something pink came rushing towards him. It barreled into him and fell back, landing on it's backside.

**"Watch where you're fuckin' standing you fucking retarded- Girly-man!"** Sakura looked up at him, shocked. He smirked and held out his hand. **"Not you, too! What the hell is wrong with you three shit-heads! Are you shap-shifting aliens, or penguins!"** Sakura's eyes widened with realization and she whacked him over the head with her book-laden backpack. **"Get away from me, Marshmallow! I'm onto you and your evil marshmallowy ways! Lemme alone!"** Sakura ran for home as fast as her legs would carry her. When she's in Inner Sakura mode, that can be pretty damn fast...

------------------

The next morning, Sakura walked in carefully, lifting tables, chairs, and people to check for what she claimed to be 'deadly marshmallow ambush squads'. Finding none, she slowly slid into her seat, glancing cautioslybetween Neji and Sasuke. The gave her their best innocent looks, which only increased her apprehension. As soon as the Brunch bell rang, she practically flew out of the room.

"Red, get ready to enact phase three of plan CHIVALRY," Neji said, smirking at both Gaara and Sasuke, who stood on either side of him.

"Roger," Gaara responded. Just as he was about to go, chills ran down all three boy's spines and they whipped around."ARRGG! Evil Pink Handball! Get it offa me!"

"F... Frisbee..." Neji stammered, covering his head with his forearms.

"RUBBER CHICKEN!" Sasuke yelled. All three boys took off, running down the hallway and going through the first door they saw, slamming it shut behind them. They sighed in releif as three things banged against the thick door. A toilet flushed and all three boys froze, afraid to turn around. A door creaked open, making the color drain from their faces.

------------------

**"AIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!"** a feminin voice screamed as Naruto walked past the girl's bathroom, having been released from detention early. This was, of course, because Ero-sennin, or vice priciple Jiraiya,had something to do. Naruto suspected it had something to do with his next Icha Icha novel, and an all-girlshotspring.He stood outside of the restroom with a stunned expression on his face and his jaw dropped.

**SLAP!**

**"PERVERTS!"**

**BAM!**

**"HENTAIS!"**

**CRASH!**

**"WOMANIZERS!"**

**"CRACK!"**

Then everything was quiet. After a few minutes, a fuming Sakura stormed past Naruto with an indignant '**hmph!**' Several more minutes passed before three very beat up boys pushed their way painfully through the door.

"Hahaha! You guys look like crap!" Naruto taunted in a sing-song voice as he pointed at Neji, Gaara, and Sasuke. The three looked at each other and growled in agreement.

"Shut up, dead-last!" Sasuke rasped before they pounced on the idiotic blonde.

--------------

"N-Naruto-kun!" Hinata gasped as she ran to the uncoscious blonde's side.She'd been staying after school for a week, helping some of the teachers. A black eyes were begining to form, and there were many 'colorful' bruises on his arms and legs. Naruto's leftcheek was split open, and his eyes were swirling. Hanata ranto getthe school nurse, Shizune, to help the poor fox-boy.

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Gomen nasai! I've been really struggling to come up with ideas as of late, and my friend who usually helps me, has not been giving me many inspirational events! I based the Evil Frisbee thing on the evil frisbee that attacked my fiend and I in PE one day, and most of these ideas are inspired by things that happen in my real life.


	22. Short, Sweet, and, um, Sweet

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignifigant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Owie!" Sakura shouted as some bastard pushed her over and made the back of her head hit a chair.

"S-Sakura-chan?" Hinata stuttered as she knelt by the pink-haired high schooler's side. She tentatively reached out a hand to poke the girl when she shot up.

"We all scream for ice cream!" Sakura yelled, getting up and dashing toward the door. Hinata looked in the direction she had been going and sweatdropped, thinking that her friend may have skipped her meds this morning.

"Pretty-boy!"

"What the hell!" Sasuke shouted as a pink thing latched onto his back. The pink blur clung to his back as he twirled around, desperately trying to dislodge his attacker.

"I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!" a voice shrieked into his ear. The volume knocked him out. Sakura giggled insanely as she jumped off of the poor, stunned boy.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Red to Blue... Respond, dammit!" Gaara shouted into his communicator. Static was all he recieved.

"CREAM-PUFF!"

"SHIT!"

Minutes later found our favorite red-headed sadist out cold and propped up against the wall.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"White to Blue and Red, come in..." Neji hissed into his mic. "Nothing... What the hell happened? When I- huh!"

"Neji!" Sakura cried as she began glomping him silly.

"S-Sakura...!" he gasped as he teetered, trying to maintain his balance with the added weight. "L-Let go...!"

"No!" she retorted.

"Why the hell not!" Neji growled. Sakura just giggled and hugged him around the waist as though he were a giant Teddy Bear.

"I love Teddy!"

"T-Teddy!" Neji half-shouted, his left eye twitching. He started growling as he remorsed over being treated like a stuffed toy. As he did so, a giggle interrupted his reminescing before soft lips found his. His eyes got wide and his whole body stiffened. A hazy look crept into his eyes and he relaxed. She giggled again and was about to pull away from the Hyuuga boy when his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, preventing her escape and bringing her closer.

"Huh!" she exclaimed as the shock brought her back to her senses and snapped her out of her random persona. She blushed as her mind returned to reality to find a white-eyed brunette kissing her senseless. She was starting to see spots from the intensity. As he finally relinquished her lips and slowly removed his arms from her body. She stumbled backward, gazing at him before blushing crimson and urning away from Neji. He coughed, and they both decided to just pretend that what had just transpired had not happened.

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

I haven't had much inspiration as of late, bu my most recent inspiration was my good friend falling over backward and hitting the back of her head on the seat of a chair. Thank you, BlackDragonofDarknesFlames!


	23. Forgotten Meds and Big Ass Needles

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

-Key to dialogue-

"$$" Talking

'_$$' Thinking_

"**$$" Inner-self talking through outer self**

'_**$$' Inner-self thinking**_

* * *

Sakura bounced into class with a crazy grin, stopping upon noticing the metal letter opener gleaming in the sun on her sensei's desk. Stepping towards it, her eyes were big with awe.  
"Ohhhhhh…." She sighed with a bigger grin. "SHINEY!" Sakura continued to stare as Neji's name was called over the intercom and he left to see the principal. "Shiney… I like shiney…"

"Sakura…" Neji called as he comes back into the room, holding something behind his back. Sakura ignored him, holding the letter opener above hear head.

"….The shiney is mine…. and I will dominate the world with my army of gummy bears and anime characters wielding big-ass needles!" she hissed in a low tone. "I WILL RULE THE EARTH ALONGSIDE MY BIG-ASS NEEDLE WITH AN IRON FIST! MWAHAHAHA!"

"Tsunade was right…." Neji said, rolling his eyes as the class sweatdropped. "You did skip your meds this morning, didn't you?" He took the shot Tsunade gave him out from behind his back, holding Sakura's arm with one hand. Sakura started flailing and squirming in his grip.

"I NO WANNA SHOT!" she whined, wrenching her arm free and smacking away the hand holding the shot of medication. Thus free, Sakura ran away from his smouldering aura, running in circle around the classroom.

"She made me poke myself with the needle…" Neji muttered before flames shot from his eyes. "IMA GONNA FLIP MY BITCH SWITCH AND GO DOCTOR ON HER ASS!" He yelled, making everyone back away from him slowly before he chased Sakura around the room. "COME BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE PIPSQUEEK!"

"NEENYAH NALA QUEESTAH!" Sakura shouted, sticking out her tongue and flipping him off. "RUN, RUN, RUN, AS FAST AS YOU CAN! YOU CAN'T CATCH ME CUZ YOU'RE A GIRLY-MAN!"

"THAT'S IT!" Neji yelled back, furious. "THE BITCH SWITCH HAS BEEN FLIPPED! GET YOUR PINK-HEADED ASS OVER HERE AND TAKE IT LIKE THE CHILD OF SATIN YOU ARE!" He ran faster after the crazed maniac.

"MWAHAHAHAHA-OOF!" Sakura bit out as she crashed into someone.

"I think you really needs that medicine, Forehead Girl..." Ino muttered as she held her struggling friend tight. "Neji, hurry and give her the damn shot!"

"Certainly…" Neji said in a wicked tone as he stalked over slowly with a sinister grin on his face. He held up the needle, ominously letting it hover above the skin of her arm before he plunged the tip into it, injecting the medication. He stepped back as a calm look overtook Sakura's face and she settled down.

"I'm okay, now," she said. "You can let go of my arms, Ino-pig…" Ino did so, letting Sakura drop her arms to the side. "Sorry everyone... Guess I won't be skipping my meds again anytime soon..." She rubbed the back of her head sheepishly, ashamed of her odd behavior. "Ehehehehehe..."

"Yo!" Kakashi said as he walked in. "Sorry about being late, but a mentally unstable person escaped from a nearby asylum and I had to help them recapture him..." Sakura sighed in relief and went to her seat, putting the letter opener back on her lazy sensei's desk.

"LIAR!" Naruto screeched.

"Saved by the Kakashi..." Sakura sighed, for once glad with her sensei's obvious bad timing.

"Why did you skip your medicine, Sakura?" Neji asked, raising an eybrow. "Furthermore, why did Tsunade-sama know that you'd skipped?"

"Eh? W-Well..." she stammered, poking her index fingers together exactly like Hinata as she thought about how she would answer. "I just kinda forgot about the meds... As for how she knew, sometimes Tsunade-sama comes and stops by to check up on me. She was friends with my mom until... well... you don't need to hear about that..." Neji raised his eyebrow again at that.

"Hn. Whatever," He replied after a while. "Just don't let it happen again."

"Okay Neji," she said with a smile. "I'll try not to forget my meds again." She turned to face him with a brilliant smile. He gave her a questioning look in return. "Thanks for stopping me, Neji." With that, she turned away, facing Kakashi again as he had Grammer books handed out.

_'Thanks for what_?' Neji wondered as he opened his book to page 402.

* * *

I know it's short, but I'm gonna try to getup the next chapter later today! The other day, I imagined the nuttiest thing! Try to picture in your head, a chibi Tsunade waving around a big-ass needle the size of Gamabunta's Dosu, (the yakuza sword he carries),and sitting on Katsui, leading all the other members of the Naruto cast, including Kabuto, following in a chibi parade with more big-ass needles, Jiraiya on Gamabuta in the middle with a big-ass needle smaller than Tsunades, thought not by much, and then Orochimaru riding Manda in the back, with a big-ass needle the same size as Jiraiya's! Then, my friend imagined all the chibis chanting; 'World domination, world domination, with big-ass needles, world domination!' Is that not, like, so weird!


	24. Iruka's Assignment and An Apology

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

-Key to dialogue-

"$$" Talking

'_$$' Thinking_

"**$$" Inner-self talking through outer self**

'**_$$' Inner-self thinking_**

* * *

"You mean we all have to find an inspiring poem and share it in class!" Sakura asked angrily as she glared at the unfortunate teacher who was telling the class this information. "Irukaaaaaaaaaa-senseeeeeiiiiii! I don't know a thing about poetry…."

"Look, don't kill the messenger, Sakura…." Iruka sighed. "You don't have a choice. It's mandatory. I didn't make up this assignment. Don't blame me. It's just part of this year's curriculum."

"Fine…." Sakura groaned unhappily as the rest of the class emanated disappointment. "So we just find any old poem that we think is inspiring and bring it into class tomorrow?"

"That's right, Sakura," Iruka confirmed. "That's all you have to do. And write down the author of the poem. Then, it's an easy A. Okay, guys. The bell will ring in five minutes. You guys can get out early. See you all tomorrow, and don't forget those poems!"

Everyone began to mill out of the room.

"Great…" Neji hissed sarcastically. "A poetry project… I absolutely _despise_ poetry…."

"Join the club…." Sasuke muttered back. Gaara just glared at nothing, looking like he wanted nothing more than to kill something, which, knowing him, was exactly what he waned to do.

Sakura sat at home, staring blankly at the computer screen as she tried to find a poem that inspired her. She boredly clicked another link and sighed heavily as it came to another irrelevant poem.

"Jeez…." Sakura muttered as she hit the Back button and the arrow hovered over the next link. "Will I _ever_ find a damn poem…?" She clicked and it brought her to a new page. Her eyes scanned the poem, slowly widening as her mouth twitched into a grin. She printed out the poem hurriedly and scanned it again, writing her name and the period that had assigned it in her neat cursive hand before putting it away in her pack, still grinning.

"Finally!" she sighed happily. "I found one at last! Wonder what Iruka-sensei will say to that…."

Neji growled at the computer screen. He just couldn't find a suitable poem for this damned assignment. He furiously clicked the last link on the search results page, and he blinked.

"…I guess I found one…" he said, as his white eyes scanned slowly over the poem he had found. "Wait…. Who's the author…? Will an anonymous poem be acceptable? I hope so…" He printed his chosen poem and tucked it away into his backpack, deciding to surf the web for anything interesting.

"Nothing…." He muttered. "Is there nothing going on…?"

Gaara cursed as he found another love poem. He had typed in DEATH POEM, goddammit!

"Feh…" Gaara breathed. "That's it. I'll try one more time, and then I'm just gonna shove this damned assignment up the school board's ass…" He clicked again, a sadistic smirk lighting up his dark features as he found something that fit him to some degree. An anonymous author, but who cared? He found one, didn't he? He printed it, and put it away, deciding to go for a ride around the city on his motorcycle just to blow off some of his unforgotten frustration.

"Hn…" Sasuke said to himself with a victorious smirk as he printed out the poem he found. "It almost as though this person wrote this just for me…" He turned on some music after putting it away. "Huh… Linkin Park, Figure .09… Today must be my lucky day…"

"Ooooh!" Ino's eyes lit up with little stars as she found something. "It's the most perfect poem ever!" In excited glee, she printed her find. "I wonder if Lazy-Ass-Pineapple-Head found anything…. If he even bothered to do the assignment… Might be too "troublesome", or something…."

"Achoo!" Shikamaru sneezed before lazily clicking a link. "Someone must be talking about me… How troublesome… Ah… Got it." Printing the poem, he tucked it away safely and went outside, laying on his back in his backyard and cloud-gazing once again.

"I-I…" Hinata stuttered to herself upon finding a poem that she felt she could sympathize with. "I guess i-it'll do…" She printed it with some nervous hesitation, already questioning herself, but putting it into her backpack, nonetheless. "I hope Iruka-sensei f-finds it a-acceptable…"

"I've found one! Believe it!" Naruto cheered, jumping up in joy as he successfully printed his chosen poem. "This is so awesome! Iruka-sensei's my hero! This is gonna be, like, the only assignment I'll probably ace all year! Believe it!"

-Friday in last period elective with Iruka-

"Okay guys," Iruka said as everyone got into their seats. "I want you to all come up to the front of the room and read your poem out loud to the class before you hand it to me. I hope you've all done this assignment. Just doing it, no matter how well or poorly it was done, will give you an A for this assignment, and extra credit in your English class. We'll start with… Uzumaki Naruto. Come on up."

"I'm first! Believe it!" Naruto shouted joyfully as he bounced to the front of the room. "Okay, the author was Anonymous and the title is "My Favorite Dish". Anonymous. What a weird name. Sorry, anyway, "My Favorite Dish";

Ramen is my favorite dish

Topped with bits of naruto fish

Hot and steaming

A heavenly scent

There isn't a flavor

I haven't tried yet

Succulent noodles

Soaking in broth

Slices of eggs

And bits of beef

Ramen

My ramen

Such a wonderful thing

There is only one flaw to this perfect dish

The three minutes of wait is my only debate

But you can't go wrong with ramen on your plate!"

"Uh…. That was very…. inspiring, Naruto…" Iruka said as he sweatdropped and took Naruto's paper. Naruto happily ran back to his seat. "Okay…. Next up will be… Sabaku no Gaara."

"Hn…" Gaara sulked as he made his way up, paper in hand. "There is no author mentioned, and the title is "Questions". "Questions";

What is the meaning of life?

There is no meaning

What do you do when you hurt inside

You do nothing

What do you do when the world falls around your ears?

You sit back and watch it

What do you do when your blood stains the floor?

You help spread it

"How…. er… appropriate, Gaara…." Iruka said as he took Gaara's paper, noticing with startling clarity the few drops of blood that stained it. Gaara hn'd and stalked back to his seat. "Anyway…. Next up will be… Nara Shikamaru. Come on, Shikamaru. The sooner you get it over with, the sooner you can go back to sleep."

"How troublesome…" Shikamaru sighed as he sauntered up lazily. "This is "The House of Clouds" by Elizabeth Berrett Browning. "The House of Clouds";

I would build a cloudy house

For my thoughts to live in

When for earth too fancy-loose

And too low for Heaven

Hush

I talk my dream aloud

I build it bright to see

I build it on the moonlit cloud

To which I looked with thee

Cloud-walls of the morning's grey

Faced with amber column

Crowned with crimson copula

From a sunset solemn

May mists for the casements fetch

Pale and glimmering

With a sunbeam hid in each

And a smell of spring

Build the entrance high and proud

Darkening and then brightening

If a raven thunder-cloud

Veined by the lightning

Use one with an iris-stain

Use for the door within

Turning to a sound like rain

As I enter in

Build a spacious hall thereby

Boldly

Never fearing

Use the blue space of the sky

Which the wind is clearing

Branched with corridors sublime

Flecked with winding stairs

Such as children love to climb

Following their own prayers

In the mutest of the house  
I will have my chamber  
Silence at the door shall use  
Evening's light of amber  
Solemn every mood  
Softening in degree  
Turning sadness into good  
As I turn the key

Be my chamber tapestry  
With the showers of summer  
Close but soundless glorified  
When the sunbeams come here  
Wandering harpers harping on  
Waters stringed for such  
Drawing colors for a tune  
With a vibrant touch

Bring a shadow green and still  
From the chestnut forest  
Bring a purple from the hill  
When the heat is sorest  
Spread them out from wall to wall  
Carpet-wove around  
Whereupon the foot shall fall  
In light instead of sound

Bring the fantasque cloudlets home  
From the noontide zenith  
Ranged

For sculptures

Round the room  
Named as Fancy weeneth  
Some be Junos, without eyes  
Naiads, without sources  
Some be birds of paradise  
Some, Olympian horses

Bring the dews the birds shake off  
Waking in the hedges  
Those too, perfumed for a proof  
From the lilies' edges  
From our England's field and moor  
Bring them calm and white in  
Whence to form a mirror pure  
For Love's self-delighting

Bring a grey cloud from the east  
Where the lark is singing  
Something of the song at least  
Unlost in the bringing  
That shall be a morning chair  
Poet-dream may sit in  
When it leans out on the air  
Unrhymed and unwritten

Bring the red cloud from the sun  
While he sinks catch it  
That shall be a couch with one  
Sidelong star to watch it  
Fit for poet's finest thought  
At the curfew-sounding  
Things unseen being nearer brought  
Than the seen, around him

Poet's thought

Not poet's sigh

Alas

They come together  
Cloudy walls divide and fly  
As in April weather  
Cupola and column proud  
Structure bright to see  
Gone

Except that moonlit cloud  
To which I looked with thee

Let them! Wipe such visions  
From the Fancy's cartel  
Love secures some fairer things  
Dowered with his immortal  
The sun may darken

Heaven be bowed  
But still

Unchanged shall be  
Here in my soul

That moonlit cloud  
To which I looked with thee."

(originally taken from http/ This is NOT mine…)

"Wow…" Iruka said, as the rest of the class stood in awe from the lengthy poem Shikamaru had recited. "I never knew you had it in you to do something like this, Shikamaru…" Shikamaru said something about Iruka's assignment being "so damn troublesome" as he walked back to his seat and promptly fell asleep. "Okay, then next up is… Yamanaka Ino. Show us what you've got, Ino."

"Okay, sensei," Ino said happily as she skipped up and looked proud. "This is by Chad A. Booher. "True Beauty";

Beauty is a thing seldom seen

No one sees it because no one looks

Or at least not in the right places

Beauty is held by all

Within the soul it lies

Waiting yet unable to rise to the surface

Beauty is suppressed by the evils of the world

Only love can bring beauty out

Once seen it never again must hide

Not even hatred can deny beauty

Of its true design

Beauty though possessed by all

Will only ever be truly seen by few

And fewer yet will ever see

The beauty that is you

(I made some changes, but the basic thing I took from this website http/ In other words, it is NOT mine.)

"That was lovely, Ino," Iruka commented with a smile towards the blonde who handed over her paper and skipped back to her desk. "Uchiha Sasuke. You're up."

"Aa," Sasuke replied dryly as he got in place. "The author is unknown. "Revenge";

Blinded by anger

Fueled by hate

Your soul I seek

Your life I long to possess

With this sword vengeance will be gratified

Your death a compensation for all the lives you took

And no feeling or repentance

Shall be felt

For you deserve

Every stroke

Every stab

Every wound

Inflicted upon you

I will do to you as you did to me

I will hate and despise you

I'll torture you too

Make you look into my eyes

See the hatred I have for you

Your blood will stain my clothes

Dripping from my sword and hands

As I savor every moment of killing you

I will smile upon you as you breathe your last

And your body begins to grow cold

You will hurt no more

You will cause pain no more

The lives you ruined

The shameless acts you committed

Will be done no more

With Kami as my witness

I will find you

And ever so slowly I will kill you

Vengeance shall be sought

And blood repaid

Mark my words brother

You'll die by my hands

(the main parts of this were acquired from http/ but I changed it a bit to fit Sasuke's views on life. It's NOT mine…)

"…Right, well…" Iruka started, blinking and taking Sasuke's paper. He coughed lightly. "Ahem. Next will be Hyuuga Hinata." Hinata looked like she was going to faint as she slowly walked towards the front, looking back to see Sakura, Ino, Tenten, Temari, and Naruto giving her grins and thumbs up.

"H-Hai, Iruka-sensei," Hinata stammered as she got to the front looking much better and stuttering less. "This poem is by Paul Allard II. "Confidence";

All people have abilities with weaknesses and strengths

They build them up and over time increase them by great lengths

But there is a power from within more troublesome than any mess

With power and strength great enough to shut out happiness

A veil of discomfort

A wave of rejection

A voice that drags you down

A sleepless malice in disguise

Like a terrorist dressed as a clown

When released from within it's owner it affects their friends and neighbors

It wears them out and wears them down

Like painful endless labors

Yet still inside there is hope for all to withstand this treacherous power

A vast energy

A radiant spell

An evil banishing power

It brings love and peace

The warmth of fleece

With joy to fill our hearts

A never-ending happiness that spreads throughout our parts

It's confidence that allows us to achieve our lifetime goals

Our hopes and dreams

Or so it seems

To fill the gaps within out souls

(I made one thing different from the original. In the tenth line, where I put "their" it is "his" in the original, but since Hinata is a girl, I felt I should change it. This was acquired from NOT MINE.)

"Bravo Hinata!" Iruka said, taking the paper and beaming proudly at his shy student. She nodded, not up to speaking now that it was over, and sat down. "Haruno Sakura. You're turn."

"Hell yeah! Finally!" Sakura cheered, pumping a fist in the air in triumph. "This poem is by Maya Angelou. "Caged Bird";

The free bird leaps

On the back of the wind

And floats downstream

Til the current ends

And dips his wing

In the orange sun rays

And dares to claim the sky

But a bird that stalks

Down his narrow cage

Can seldom see through

His bars of rage

His wings are clipped

His feet are tied

So he opens his throat to sing

The caged bird sings

With a fearful trill

Of things unknown

But longed for still

And his tune is heard

On the distant hill

For the caged bird sings of freedom

The free bird thinks of another breeze

And the trade winds soft through the sighing trees

And the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn

And he names the sky his own

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams

Hs shadow shouts on a nightmare scream

His wings are clipped

His feet are tied

So he opens his throat to sing

The caged bird sings

A fearful trill

Of things unknown

But longed for still

His tune is heard

On the distant hill

For the caged bird sings of freedom."

"Sakura…" Iruka said as he grinned and took the proffered paper. "That was an interesting poem. Next is Hyuuga Neji."

"Very well," Neji said, monotonously as he walked to the front. "The author of this poem is anonymous. "The Passage of Time";

When summer and fall are gone

And when winter reigns

Where do the cherry blossoms go?

Over the falls

Or weaving through meadows

Floating with the wind

As light as a feather

A special thing

I hold very dear

Though they only bloom at one time each year

Lit by the moon

And thriving in daylight

Drifting away

As cold sets in

It leads me to wonder where it all begins

Delicate petals

Smooth to the touch

Gone with the wind

In the winter's clutch

Where do the cherry blossoms go?

When spring begins

They come anew

Back to the trees

As they out to

As winter begins

They whither away

Every time I wish them to stay

But even so

I find myself asking

Where do the cherry blossoms go?

As they vanish

So does time

Year after year

They fly on by

Like the days of our live

Their time is short

So the lesson in this

Is make the most of life

Don't waste it or you'll find yourself asking

Where did the cherry blossoms go?"

Sakura blinked. The poem was a lesson. It said not to waste the time you had to live your life, because life is to short to waste. She wondered why Neji had picked that poem.

"A lesson in self-saving?" Iruka asked Neji as he handed over his paper. "An interesting piece from which to gain inspiration, Neji. Your turn, now, Tenten."

The rest of the class period was spent listening to the rest of the classes poems. Iruka glanced at the clock. It was about ten minutes before school got out.

"Wow," Iruka commented appraisingly. "You guys are the only period in which everyone turned in their homework. Bravo. As a bonus, I'm going to let you go ten minutes early. I'll see you guys next week on Monday. Have a good weekend, you guys."

Everyone milled out, chatting excitedly. Sakura caught up to Neji, not looking at him.

"Hey, Neji…?" She addressed him tentatively. He gave her blushing form a sideways glance.

"What do you want, Haruno?" Neji asked in his usual tone, though his stomach felt like it was doing flip-flops.

"…Well… You remember the incident from the other day, right? The one where I… kissed you?" Sakura asked. She was still blushing like hell.

"Hn," he replied with a curt nod.

"I'd like to apologize for my behavior," she said, a bit too quickly. "I wasn't myself that day. No hard feelings about that, right?" He stopped walking, making her halt beside him, and he turned to face her.

"You don't need to be apologizing for that," he said coldly. "My eyes tell me things those of others do not. I knew you weren't yourself at that time. Next time your split-personality gets out of hand, please try to control it." _'Because the next time you do something like that, I might not be able to control myself…'_ Neji added silently, his expression still blank.

"H-Hai, Neji," Sakura replied, scurrying off with a relieved sigh escaping her lips. Neji watched as she disappeared around the corner before continuing to head to the school's exit.

* * *

Sorry about the wait, you guys! I've been busy, and have had very little inspiration! I'm so ashamed! Thanks to all my readers and reviewers for sticking with my story! Gaara's poem and Neji's poem were both by me. But damn, Shikamaru's poem suprised even me. There is depth in lazy-assedness.


	25. Is it a Jutsu?

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

-Key to dialogue-

"$$" Talking

'_$$' Thinking_

"**$$" Inner-self talking through outer self**

'**_$$' Inner-self thinking_**

"Pst... Tenten..." Sakura whispered to the girl in front of her as Gai delivered a speech about YOUTH.

"Huh? Wassup?" Tenten asked, turning to face the pink-haired young woman.

"How do Gai and Lee do that?" she asked.

"How do Gai and Lee do what? Be gay fags?" Tenten asked. Sakura giggled.

"No, I mean the shiny, sparkly teeth thingy..." she replied.

"I have no idea... " Tenten answered, sweatdropping hugely. "I've tried to do it a few times. It never works."

"Hmmm..." Sakura's eyes brightened as she felt something stirring in her. She suddenly stood up on the bleacher seat, halting Guy's lecture and gaining the attention of all the students. Flames danced in her eyes as she imitated the "nice guy" pose both Lee and Guy shared. "SEXY GREEN BEAST SECRET TAIJUTSU! SHINY TEETH NO JUTSU!" The whole gymnasium sparkled brightly as her teeth glinted incredibly white. She quickly closed her mouth, seeing Lee and Gai staring at her, dumbfounded, and all the other students except for Shino, Neji, Gaara, and Sai, who had quickly looked away, rolling around on the ground and clutching at their poor abused eyes. Tenten recovered quickly, staring at Sakura as she tried to get swallowed up by a hole in the ground that didn't exist, blushing fiercely.

"Holy shit, Sakura! How did you do that!" Tenten asked, getting up and into the nice-guy pose. "SEXY GREEN BEAST SECRET TAIJUTSU! SHINY TEETH NO JUTSU!" Nothing happened, and crickets began to chirrup. "FUCK YOU, DJ OF LIFE! she stuck out her middle finger at nothing in particular. The crickets stopped, and a loud sob was heard as a man about two feet tall tore out from behind a curtain that blended perfectly with the gym.

"YOU PEOPLE ARE MEANIE-BUTTS! ALL OF YOU!" he cried as he ran away.

"..." Sakura blinked. "Was that a midget...?"

"Nooooooo..." Neji replied, rolling his eyes. "It was the Wizard of Oz."

"HELL YEAH! I KNEW IT!" Sakura cried, pumping her fist into the air triumphantly.

"..." Neji looked at her strangely, left eyebrow twitching slightly. "...Santa Claus killed the Easter Bunny, Jack Frost and Jesse McCartney killed Frosty the Snowman, and the Easter Bunny's zombified corpse wants to destroy us all."

"! SANDY CLAWS! HOW COULD YOU!" Sakura cired, tears streaming down her face as everyone else sweatdropped profusely.

"Sandy Claws...?" Tenten asked, eyebrow raised.

"SHUT UP, MORTAL! I AM THE PUMPKIN KING! FEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR MEEEEEEEEE! RAWR!" Sakura cackled wickedly, hands raised above her head, palms up facing the sky, and dark thunderclouds, lightning, and flames appearing behind and around here from out of nowhere. "MWAHAHAHAHAHA! I STEAL YOUR SOULS! I- MUMPH!"

"Shut up before I am forced to do something we may both regret, Sakura-_chan_..." Neji sighed, one hand over his face in humiliation, the other clamped hard over her mouth. He felt her lips twitch into a grin and she licked his hand. Neji twitched as she kept doing that until he was fed up with it. "DAMMIT, WOMAN!" He removed his hand.

"HA! I WIN! IN YOUR FACE!" Sakura smirked, sticking her tongue out at him. In response, Neji narrowed his eyes and growled. She started to do some sort of "victory dance", and then suddenly found herself still by his grip on her shoulders as his mouth clamped onto hers, his tongue forcefully prying open her mouth and slipping inside as she tensed, eyes wide. His tongue explored her mouth, probing everywhere as he tilted her upper body back for better leverage. Seeming to finally come back to her senses, Sakura squirmed in his hold. After about a minute or so, he pulled away, panting slightly and staring at her as she stared back, also out of breath.

The gym was dead silent.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!"

Sorry it's short, but it's all I can come up with for High School Trauma just now! Gomen nasai! Thanks to all my readers, and everyone who reviews! I appreciate it a lot!


	26. Who's a Sexy Bastard?

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

-Key to dialogue-

"$$" Talking

'_$$' Thinking_

"**$$" Inner-self talking through outer self**

'**_$$' Inner-self thinking_**

* * *

The back of his neck was sweating a little, and he licked his suddenly dried lips. What was he DOING, goddammit! How humiliating…. And the sudden crowd that gathered at the loud shout of surprise from Ino had not helped to lessen the akwardness of the moment.

_'What am I supposed to do, now!'_ the perpetually calm Hyuga male asked himself, mentally panicking. **_'Well, duh. You kiss her again, and see whether or not she kisses you back, dipstick.'_** _'WTF! You're the dipstick! We're the same person, dammit!' **'Are you gonna take my damn advice, or just stand there like an idiot?' **'…' **'Thought so. Now get the ball rolling, screw-boy.'**_

_'WAH! THIS IS TOTALLY WEIRD!' _Sakura thought, her eyes darting around. _'And there is a CROWD…' **'Pipe down. We'll just kick their sorry asses if they get smart-alecky. CHA!'** 'B-BUT WHAT DO I DO!' **'How the hell would I know? You're on your own, kiddo. Just use your instincts.' **'Oh yeaaaaaaah… REAL helpful…' **'I know. Ain't I just the greatest? Now get those gears working again. Know what? Let's play with him a bit. Y'know… PLAY with him… We could scare the HELL outta him! CHA!' **'What if it backfires…?' **'Errr…. I have no idea, but still!' **'…Alright, I guess…'_

Slowly, Sakura slid her arms up to lock around his neck, leaning into him a little. She felt his body tense, then relax slightly, his own arms sliding around her waist loosely as she pressed her forehead to his, their noses almost touching. She peered into his white eyes, her inner internally cackling with mirth, and then her fingers started to dance teasingly over his upper back, causing him to once again tense up. He let out a soft sigh, allowing his body to relax again. Ignoring the various stares, Sakura pressed on, a small smile beginning to tug at her lips.

"You know, Neji-kun…" she purred, "…you're actually pretty cute close-up…" Her hands slipped down a bit, dipping underneath the large collar of his shirt and started to lightly knead between his shoulder blades, purring like a cat.

_'HOLY-! WHAT THE HELL!'_ His mind was in turmoil, though his impassive fascade remained in place for the time being. **_'HAH! I KNEW SHE THINKS WE'RE DEAD SEXY! WHO'S A SEXY BASTARD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, IDIOT! RESPOND!' _**_'Respond…? How in seven HELLS do I respond to THIS!' **'GOD YOU'RE HOPELESS! KISS HER!'** 'Y-You mean NOW…?' **'NO SHIT!'**_

As soon as she began to purr, he blinked at her, catching her hands and holding them with one of his own, seeming to have forgotten their audience, and backed her up against a wall behind her, holding her hands gently above her head as he leaned in and kissed her again.

_'I TOLDYA IT'D BACKFIRE!'_Sakura ranted mentally, her eyes wide as he pressed against her a little, grinding on her thigh only slightly as he nipped and suckled at her lower lip, his free hand tracing his index finger lightly over her collarbone. Her face heated up._ **'WELL SOOOOOOORRY!' **'It's YOUR fault!' **'You know you like it… Admit it! It feels great!' **_Sakura's blush worsened at her inner's rantings. _'W-WHAT! N-NO WAY! I DO NOT!' **'Yeah, that explains PERFECTLY why you're BLUSHING so damn HARD! HAHA!' **'S-Shut up!'_

A small shiver ran down her spine and she opened her mouth to him, allowing him to explore her mouth tauntingly. He pulled away after a minute or so, withdrawing his hands and stepping back, smirking.

"Heh. Nice seeing you..." he trailed off as he turned, walking away from her with his back to her, his hand raised in a nonchalaunt farewell. "...Haruno."

Hinata had just gotten home and was on her way to her room when she passed by the bathroom, stopping as she heard a slight, pained groan from behind the slightly ajar door. Curiosity won over, and she peeked in through the crack. Neji stared at his reflection, his hand nervously running through his hair as he leaned almost helplessly against the sink.

"I can get over this..." he muttered out loud. "I'm a bigger man than this, dammit! Grrr..." He took deep breaths for a moment, calming himself a little. "It's okay. I can do this. Ugh... Have to do it... Dammit..."

Hinata blinked. What the hell was wrong with her cousin?

"I'm a sexy bastard. I can do anything..." Neji said, staring at the mirror still. "SURELY I can do THIS..." _**'HELL YES! WE'RE TOO SEXY FOR OUR SHIRT! SO TAKE IT OFF!'**_

_'What the hell? Not a chance. As if I would ever conceive to do something so outlandish.'_

**_'FUCK THAT! TAKE IT OFF! SHOW OFF OUR DEAD SEXY BODY! YOU KNOW YOU WANNA!'_**

_'I most certainly do NOT.'_

**_'WAH! YOU'RE NO FUN!'_**

_'Hmph.'_

He was pulled from his thoughts when a knock sounded at the door. He blinked, opening it to see Hinata.

"Are you feeling okay, Neji-niisan? I could hear you muttering to yourself..." she asked.

"Ah, no. There is nothing." Giving a slight bow, he exited the bathroom and walked off towards his room.

_'Wah... That was soooooooooo fucked up, back there...'_ Sakura thought, snuggled safely into her bed.

**_'TELL me about it. That was some freaky-ass shit!'_**

_'Don't rub it in...'_

After a week of avoidance of each other, Neji and Sakura were paired up to make and experiment. It was a mandatory assignment. Reluctantly, they agreed to work on it at Neji's home. There would be more space there. Walking to the Hyuuga estate, they were silent until they reached Neji's own quarters, heading into his bed room and sitting down on a Tatami mat, facing each other.

"So what do you suggest we do for this... project, of ours?" Neji asked, getting straight to the point. Sakura nodded.

"I was thinking about an experiment. Let's make a mini-rocket." she suggested.

"Hn. And what materials would be needed?"

Not much. A metal body to hold fuel, a metal cone, a diverting piece, and fuel, which I can make."

"Aa. Sounds interesting."

"It will be." They sat quietly for a few minutes.

**_"Hey, c'mon! Lemme out! I wanna play!'_**

_'Ugh... You AGAIN...?'_

**_'C'MON!'_**

_'Argh... If I do, will you shut the fuck up...?'_

**_'Of course!'_**

_'...Fine...'_

Sakura stared into her lap, fidgeting a bit. She felt a soft whisper of a touch, looking at and around with a perplexed expression.

"What're you doing, Ne-" 'ji!' His lips were on hers, his strong arms pulling her up against him easily, hands softly and deftly stroking delicately down her carnation locks as her body was firmly pressed up against his own. She could feel the well-toned muscles of his chest straight through his shirt, and shivered slightly.

_'Why is he...?'_

* * *

Heh. I can SO see Neji singing "I'm too Sexy for My Shirt" or "Sexy's Back"... -smirks, snickering- Heheh... Well, anyway, later, guys!


	27. OMFG! MONSTER!

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

-Key to dialogue-

"$$" Talking

'_$$' Thinking_

"**$$" Inner-self talking through outer self**

'**_$$' Inner-self thinking_**

* * *

Neji pulled away, backing up a bit as Sakura sat there dazed. Shaking her head vigorously, she stared at him as he smirked back.

"Neji, why-" her eyes went wide as Neji shot forward, making a tiny high-pitched squeak as the evil frisbee struck the back of his neck and ricocheted out the window, breaking the glass pane. She stared bewildered when he disappeared, his clothes in a pile where he had been. Something was wiggling under his shirt and she tentatively reached for it. "What the hell...?"

"Poo!" came a high-pitched voice as a white ball of fluff popped out of the shirt collar. She pulled her hand back and stared. The puffball had two little round red eyes, fangs, and tiny black bat-like wing on its back. She could see the stubby arms and legs as it struggled to get away from the shirt entirely. With a tiny grunt, the thing escaped and hovered in the air about a foot above the pile of Neji's clothes, pulled out a mexican hat, and a bottle of tequila, and started to dance around it as if it were a pagan god.

"W-What the!" she stared at it and it blinked at her. "Uhhh... Okaaaaay... What the fuck happened to Neji...?"

"Poopoo!" the puffball squeaked at her indignantly. She sweatdropped hugely.

"Ne...ji...?" she asked slowly. "That you?" The puffball bobbed. Giggling, Sakura reached out, her palm upturned, and he landed on it. He was tiny enough to fit in the palm of one hand... "How the hell did this happen? Wow, you make a really cute puffball, Neji." Grinning, she rubbed his tiny head with the tip of her left index finger. He blinked and purred, nuzzling up against her palm and she laughed. "So cute! Aww!"

"...Poo...!" Neji leaped into the air away from her, and she looked hurt.

"Neji...?" she asked quietly. A plume of smoke erupted and all the color drained out of her face, leaving her almost snow white, her eyes huge. "Oh my fucking god..."

"...Umm... yeah..." he coughed, grabbing his clothes and shuffling impishly to the bathroom connected to his room, closing the door gently.

_'OMG, OMG, OMG, OMFG...'_ she thought, panicking. _'HE WAS TOTALLY NAKED! I'M SCARED FOR LIFE! MY VIRGIN MIND IS RUINED!' _

_**'Heheheh... WHAT virgin mind...?' **_

_'SHUT UP, YOU! YOU'RE NOT HELPING!"_

**_'Heheh... We saw EVERYTHING... I KNOW you saw his six-pack... He has a nice ass... You cant deny that, at least. He is HOT.'_**

**__**_'_..._'_

**_'HA! YOU REALLY CAN'T DENY IT!'_**

_'SHUT UP!'_ Sakura's face was now a deep bloodred, her blush making it feel like her whole face was on fire.

**_'...Neji is fucking HUGE... Mmm... just think about EVERYTHING that MONSTER of his could do to us...'_**

_'...WAAAAAH! BAD IMAGES! BAD IMAGES!'_ Sakura started banging her head on the wall hard, her dark blush spreading through her whole body. _'KILL ME NOW! HAVE PITY! AHHH!'_

_**'...I wonder how ROUGH he'd PLAY with us...'**_

She almost fainted.

HAHA! FINALLY! TAKE THAT, WRITER'S BLOCK! Not too long or detailed, but hey, it makes for an interesting plot device, ne?


	28. DAMN THE MUSIC!

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

-Key to dialogue-

"$$" Talking

'_$$' Thinking_

"**$$" Inner-self talking through outer self**

'**_$$' Inner-self thinking_**

* * *

Hinata snickered as she pulled out her iPod and the speakers for it, plugging it in outside of Neji's door. She had seen EVERYTHING. And now she was DETERMINED to make hell for her cousin and friend. Still giggling, she pressed play and turned up the volume all the way...

_'OMFG... I'll never be able to look at him the same way again!' _Sakura mused.

**_'Hehehe! Me neither, now that we know what kind of a MAN he is!'_**

_'SHUT UP!' _Sakura cried mentally, her faced scarlet.

_"Ooh, you touch my tra-la-la_

_Mm, my ding ding dong"_

Sakura froze, eye twitching badly. _'OMG... WTF!'_

_"La, lalala, lalala, lalalalalala, la, lalala, lalala, lalalalalala_

_Ooh, you touch my tra-la-la_

_La, lalala, lalala, lalalalalala, lalala, lalala, lalalalalala_

_Mm, my ding ding dong"_

Neji froze as the loud music blared. _'Oh god, Hinata-sama... What are you up to now!'_

_"La lalala lalala lalalalalala, la lalala lalala lalalalalala_

_La lalala lalala lalalalalala la lalala lalala lalalalalala_

_La lalala lalalalalala_

_Deep in the night_

_I'm looking for some fun"_

_'GODDAMMIT, HINATA-SAMA!'_

_'WAAAAAAAAAAAH! NOT COOL! SOOOO NOT COOL! MAKE IT STOP!' _Sakura screamed in her mind.

_"Deep in the night_

_I'm looking for some love_

_D-D-D-Deep in the night_

_I'm looking for some fun_

_Deep in the night_

_I'm looking for some fuck"_

**_'Come to think of it, it IS kinda late!" _Inner Sakura reminded her suggestively.**

_'WAH! BAD! BAD ME!'_

_**'Hmmm... Y'know, this song's pretty catchy! I LIKE it! In fact, I can SO imagine something offa this song...'**_

_'SHUT UP, DAMMIT!'_ Neji yelled at his inner. _'YOU'RE NOT HELPING ANYTHING!'_

_"You tease me_

_Oh please me_

_I want to be your love toy_

_Come near me_

_Don't fear me_

_I just can't get enough of you_

_Boy"_

_'...Oh... SHIT...'_

**_'HELL YEAH! HORNY CITY, HERE WE COME!'_**

_'Hmmm... I think I'll change the song, now...' _Hinata thought, grinning wickedly as she skipped the rest of the song with the remote. _'We'll see if I can't get them fucking before midnight... MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!'_

_Is it goin'? Is it goin'? Is it goin'? Is it goin'?_  
_ I don't know_  
_ You're lookin' for_

_I'm the type of girl that'll look you dead in the eye, eye_  
_ I'm real as it comes if you don't know why I'm fly_

_Seen you tried to switch it up but girl you ain't that dope_  
_ I'm a wonderwoman let me go get my robe_  
_ I'm a supermodel and mami, see mami_  
_ Amnesty international got bank out to Montauk on lock_  
_ Love my ass and my abs_  
_ In the video of promiscuous_  
_ My style is ridiculous_

_If you see us in the club, we'll be actin' real nice_  
_ If you see us on the floor, you'll be watchin' all night_  
_ We ain't here to hurt nobody,_  
_ So give it to me So give it to me So give it to me_  
_ Wanna see you work your body_  
_ So give it to me So give it to me So give it to me_

_When Timbo's in the party everybody put up they hands_  
_ I get a half mil for my beats you get a couple grand_  
_ Never gon' see the day that I ain't got the upperhand_  
_ I'm respected from California way down to Japan_  
_ I'm a real producer and you just a piano man_  
_ Your song don't top the charts, I heard em', I'm not a fan_  
_ Nggaz talkin' greezy, I'm the one that gave them their chance_  
_ Somebody need to tell 'em they can't do it like I can_

_If you see us in the club, we'll be actin' real nice_  
_ If you see us on the floor, you'll be watchin' all night_  
_ We ain't here to hurt nobody,_  
_ So give it to me So give it to me So give it to me_  
_ Wanna see you work your body_  
_ So give it to me So give it to me So give it to me_

_Could you speak up and stop mumblin'_  
_ I don't think you came in clear_  
_ With me sittin' on the top it's hard to hear you from way up here_  
_ I saw you tryna act cute on T.V._  
_ Just let me clear the air_  
_ We missed you on the charts last week, damn that's right you wasn't there_  
_ If sexy never left, then why's everybody on my shit_  
_ Don't hate on me just because you didn't come up with it_  
_ So if you see us in the club go on and walk the other way_  
_ Cause our run will never be over not at least until we say_

_If you see us in the club, we'll be actin' real nice_  
_ If you see us on the floor, you'll be watchin' all night_  
_ We ain't here to hurt nobody,_  
_ So give it to me So give it to me So give it to me_  
_ Wanna see you work your body_  
_ So give it to me So give it to me So give it to me_

_'Oh god, no!' _Sakura and Neji thought simulateously.

**_'Oh god, YES!'_ **Both inners replied.

It was gonna be a looooong night...

* * *

WEIRD, CHAPTER, UN! BUT THEN AGAIN, I'M IN A WEIRD MOOD RIGHT NOW! Btw, a lot of people asked, so, the songs used here are "the Ding Dong Song", and some...weird.. one I forget the name of but it's a collab between Justin Timberlake and Nelly Fertunando? Whatever her name is spelled like.


	29. MISSION SUCCESS!

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

-Key to dialogue-

"$$" Talking

'_$$' Thinking_

"**$$" Inner-self talking through outer self**

'**_$$' Inner-self thinking_**

* * *

"AHHH!" Sakura screamed, jumping about a foot in the air as Neji tapped her from behind. She turned her head to face him. "Dammit Neji! You scared, like, 15 years off my life!" He blinked at her and raised an eyebrow.

"Not my fault you spaced out and got startled," he pointed out. "Now, let's get back to the project." She blinked.

"Errm.. Project..." she muttered distractedly. "Right..."

"Heheh... This'll be PERFECT..." Hinata cackled to herself as she cut the power. Darkness instantly swallowed the estate.

"EYAAAAH!" Sakura screeched, leaping into Neji's arms in fright. "OMG! I HATE THE DARK!" Neji's eyes widened as he lost his balance and landed on his butt with his back against the wall and Sakura sitting in his lap, her head buried in his chest and he arms wrapped around his neck.

"S-Sakura... Why...?" he shivered, feeling a small shudder run through her. She slowly tilted her face up to look at him, and he noticed how close their faces were. "..."

"Neji... I..." she averted her eyes nervously, her tongue slipping out to wet her dry lips. "Umm..." She fidgeted nervously and he shivered from the movement, fully aware of EXACTLY where it was she was sitting. She seemed to notice as well, because she blushed and made the move to get off of him. Neji leaned his head down a bit, and she could feel his warm breath on her lips. She shivered a little. "N-neji...?" He leaned in and kissed her, his hand sliding up to cup the back of her head as he did, and she sighed allowing her eyes to close and tightening her grip on his neck slightly. He nibbled lightly on her lower lip with his teeth before running his tongue softly over it.

Sakura shivered, parting her lips slightly and he slipped his tongue inside, exploring hesitantly. She gave a small shudder as his tongue brushed the roof of her mouth. His free arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her against him more completely as she started to play with his hair. A tiny growl escaped his throat as he broke the kiss, licking along her jawline with just the tip of his tongue, trailing up to her ear and nipping at it, sucking and biting gently at the earlobe. Sakura emitted a small mewling noise and he trailed kisses down the side of her neck, his hand on the back of her head tangling possessively into her hair as he sucked on the junction of her neck and collarbone.

"N-Neji..." Sakura half-groaned softly, a tiny shiver in her voice. He grunted in response, leaning back up and capturing her lips with his again. She nipped his lower lip, and he shivered. She'd become so WARM in the past few minutes... "S-Shit... Neji..." His hand burrowed up under the back of her shirt, fiddling with her bra clasp and she sunk into him, her hands sliding down from her neck to play with the top of his boxers.

"N-NEJI-NIISAN! ARE YOU AND SAKURA-CHAN OKAY!" Hinata yelled, bursting into the pitch-dark room. Her eyes widened at what she saw. Sakura in Neji's lap with her hands stuck in his pants and his with a hand in her shirt as they kissed. They sprang apart, looking like deer caught in the headlights. "Ah... Uhm... W-Well... It's late... I thought it was time for S-Sakura-chan to head home..."

"Ah, yes..." Neji replied. "Of course. Sakura... Would you like me to walk you home?" She blushed brightly.

"No thanks, Neji, but thank you..." she answered nervously. "I can get back on my own. So um, I'll see you both in school tomorrow, okay? Later Neji! Bye Hinata!" And with that, Sakura left and Hinata bid Neji goodnight, returning to her own room.

**_'MISSION, GET NEJI AND SAKURA TO PRACTICALLY SCREW EACH OTHER, SUCCESSFUL! HAHA! I KNEW NEJI WASN'T GAY!'_**

* * *

FINALLY! I'm SOOOOO happy! This chapter is dedicated to all the readers and reviewers of this story who have stuck with me! Thank you, people!


	30. An Akward Situation

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However, the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

-Key to dialogue-

"" Talking

'_' Thinking_

"**" Inner-self talking through outer self**

'**_' Inner-self thinking_**

"NEJI!" Sakura grinned as she pounced on the poor boy.

"S-Sakura!" Neji flailed, trying to keep his balance and failed, falling on his ass with Sakura straddling his waist. She giggled at his shocked expression. "What was that for?"

"Oh, you know. Just for fun!" Sakura chimed, then caught a closer look at him. "Ooh... shiiiiiiny..." Sakura automatically stuck her hand into Neji's front pocket to retrieve said shiny object. She missed Neji's face turn red, then pale as he stared at something behind Sakura.

"Feeling up the Hyuga IN SCHOOL?" Ino stared at her friend, shocked. "That's pretty damn bold, sticking your hands in his pants in broad daylight! Can't you WAIT, forhead-girl?"

"I...Ino... it's not... not what it looks like!" Neji stammered, not moving an inch.

"AH-HA! GOT IT!" Sakura yelled triumphantly as she pulled out the shiny key from Neji's pocket.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT! SAKURA'S GOT NEJI'S DICK!" Naruto yelled as he ran frantically through the school, waving his arms and panicking as he had only seen Sakura's hand in Neji's pants and heard her say she got it. Sakura's face burned bright red.

"Don't tell me THAT'S what it looked like..." Sakura turned redder as Ino nodded. "OH CRAP! NOW THEY'RE ALL GONNA THINK I MOLESTED HIM OR SOMETING!"

"Wouldn't be too far off..." Neji muttered, receiving a glare. "Just saying..." Sakura got up and stormed after Naruto. OOH! The little orange-wearing menace was SO DEAD!

"You enjoyed that, huh, Neji?" Ino teased, surprised when Neji's cheeks actually pinkened a little.

"O-OF COURSE NOT! THAT WAS MORTIFYING!" He exclaimed after some stuttering.

"Suuuuure.. suuuuuuuure... whatever you say, Neji... Just don't let anyone else see that BONER of yours... I'm actually surprised Sakura didn't notice, seeing as she was practically SITTING ON IT!" Ino giggled as she scampered off at Neji's petrified look.

"FUCKING HELL." Neji growled as he darted to the nearest Men's room.

Sorry guys. It's way late, and I just had to put this here while the idea was there. I will come back to this chapter, however, so fear not! Sorry about the wait, guys. :3


	31. Aliens!

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However,

the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for

foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler

characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

-Key to dialogue-

"" Talking

'_' Thinking_

"**" Inner-self talking through outer self**

'_**' **_'_** Inner-self thinking**_

* * *

The moment Sakura stepped into class the next day sparked the moment that reality was

raped by a shovel. Neji stared at the tiny, knee-high abomination she had brought with her. He

did a double-take, and stared some more.

"Sakura… for the love of god, what the hell is that thing, and why is it blue?" Neji

sweatdropped as the blue creature started climbing up the wall. Sakura smiled her biggest, I-

didn't-take-my-meds-today grin.

"Aw, Neji, I thought you'd never ask~" she purred. She gave its head a pat as it returned

to her side. "I got an alien doggy! Isn't he cute?" The whole class sweatdropped. "I think his

name is Stitch, or somethin'~ He was breaking down a wall!" Neji's gaze was blank.

"…Oddly enough, since it's you, I don't disbelieve you." Sakura giggled insanely.

"I'm gonna get a soda!" She smiled at the class. "For some reason, he really seems to like

them." With that, Sakura trotted out.

* * * 5 minutes later* * *

Sakura skipped back into the room, and blinked. "Huh? The hell happened?" The room

was in ruins. Desks were shredded, the teacher's chair was on fire, and a chainsaw was stuck in

the wall. And in the middle of it all, her little blue alien was juggling her favorite Girly-man and

Pretty-boy. "Oh good. He likes you!"

Neji and Sasuke stared at her as best they could while being juggled. They took a breath

in unison, clinging to their chairs as they were tossed. "WHAT THE HELL, WOMAN!"

Sakura blinked. "Hey, do you guys hear something?" The boys strained their ears.

"...Come to think of it, yeah, I do," Sasuke muttered with a confused look on his face. "...It almost sounds like the noise they played when they dropped the nuke on Hiroshima in that History video." And indeed, it sounded like a literal ton of air was being displaced as a warhead whistled toward them. Sakura scratched her head. Neji's head shot up, looking for the source.

"What in the...?" A blue speck was diving toward him, punching a hole through the roof, and he paled. "Oh shi-!" And then he spoke and saw no more.

"And the Girly-man is down for the count!" Sakura yelled, holding up the victorious frisbee, somehow suddenly dressed as the referee of a wrestling match. "Oh, wait, that's bad, right? My bad." With a shifty-eyed look, she slowly inched toward the door. Stitch had wisely dropped the boys before impact, and now, Neji, out cold, was sprawled on top of Sasuke.

"OI! PINKY! GET HIM OFF!" Sasuke shouted. Sakura did a shrug and a strange wiggle with her hips.

"Me so sorry, me foreigner!" and she was gone.

"...DAMMIT WOMAN!"

* * *

Well that was short. I had to do it, though. Had to be done. Just a little something to

remind me. Since they changed the upload format, I can go in and fix all the errors and update

my writing style throughout the fic. Let the epic random shitness flow once again! But lord

have pity if you EVER eat one of my gummy bears. (.o)


	32. Misery and Dressing Up

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However,

the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for

foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler

characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

-Key to dialogue-

"" Talking

'_' Thinking_

"**" Inner-self talking through outer self**

'_**' **_'_** Inner-self thinking**_

* * *

Sakura stared. She stared so hard at the object of her attention that her eyes were starting to hurt. The misfortunate boy she was staring down like a bitch in heat was starting to get nervous, and he fidgeted. Her gaze sharpened at the movement as she sized him up, and her fingers reached hungrily for his neck, making him gulp. As her fingers closed around her target, absolute silence fell in the small room. Seconds stretched into what seemed like minutes before she took in a deep breath- and let out the loudest squee the world has ever known!

"Oh my GOD, Haku, for the love of god, TELL ME!" she bubbled demandingly, as her fingers threaded through his luxurious hair. It was soft, and flowed like silk, fluidly slipping through her fingers like melted chocolate, and she cooed and purred lovingly as she continued to stroke it. Haku simply blushed at the attention, feeling more than a little akward, and wondering, not for the first time, exactly why he had decided to let the crazy girl play with his hair. He was often told that his hair was pretty, but with the way Sakura was acting, it was as though she were witnessing something divine. He wasn't used to that much praise. "Tell me all about your hair care, Haku! Don't you dare leave anything out!"

"I don't do anything special..." he mumbled, feeling self-conscious. "In the morning, I wash my hair with herbal soap, not shampoo, brush three times, then let it air-dry. At night, I wash with soap again, then condition it. After rinsing, I use mineral oil on the ends while I brush my hair, so that the ends don't split or break. Then I blow-dry, and brush three times more." By this point, Sakura was openly gawking at him. His blush deepened.

"What the shit? You don't straighten?" Her voice was disbelieving, but it was also laced with jealousy. '_Dammit! So his hair is just like that? Sooo jealous!_' She huffed, then started to brush out his hair a few times. Every stroke seemed to enhance the shine even more. She pulled his hair to the back of his neck, and fixed it into a low ponytail with a hair tie, then giggled. This hairstyle wasn't bad. It actually made him look a bit more manly. With just the bangs framing his face, the line of his jaw stood out a little more. Haku was actually pretty fuckin' hot. "Damn, Haku, you look good with this hairstyle!" Her eyes roved him up and down as she had him stand and face her. "Now... about that wardrobe..." Haku's face paled very slightly.

* * * hour later * * *

"I... I can't wear this."

"You can, and you will."

"I won't do it..."

"Pleeeeeaaaaaaaase, Haku~3"

"...Fine... but stop pouting..."

"Kay~!"

Haku nervously stepped out of the bathroom, tugging at the hem of his new shirt. The white and gray Ed Hardy sweatshirt jacket she had made him wear was unzipped, and hung open, the elaborate gray patterns on his back and over the left side of his chest drawing immediate attention. Underneath the jacket was a shirt that was a mix of teal and cyan in color, which clung close to the contours of his body and exposed his stomach beginning just above his belly button. Sakura was pleasantly surprised to find that he had well-developed, toned planes. Visual Kei style pants hugged his legs deliciously, then settled into loose folds starting at his knees. Silver chains hung from the many pockets, and tiny studs made parallel vertical lines on the out-facing sides of both legs. Soft, luxurious white leather combat-style boots began at his calf, and tiny traction spikes were scattered across the soles. The boots were zip-types, rather than lace. A silver choke chain adorned his neck, it's closely interlocked blocks and pins seamless. Around his neck hung a pair of headphones, which were rather plain, but had a cyan trim.

"Wow... That's... Wow." Sakura shook her head, amazed, as she admired her work for a moment. She grinned at the nervous boy. "Damn, you look hot. We need to dress you up more often." Haku coughed a bit.

"W...Would you.. like me to do your hair...?" Another brain-splitting squee was all the answer he received before she plopped down expectantly.

"Yes, yes! Straighten my hair, please!" She begged, eyes wide and eager. Haku shuffled over to sit behind her, plugging the hair straightener in to heat up as he began to rigorously brush out Sakura's hair. Sakura merely purred, encouraging the action. Once satisfied that he had completely eliminated all the tangles, he placed a few bobby pins into his mouth, and started to expertly pin up parts of her hair so that he could get at the other layers. Finished, he picked up the straightener, and set to work on a layer of hair directly behind her ear.

**BANG!**

Haku jumped at the sound of a gunshot, and watched with horror as the straightener slipped.

"HOLY **SON OF A** BITCH!"

* * *

Oh, the delicious taste and texture of misery... My muse, who was long dead, has returned to life. If was her misfortune that provided the inspiration for this chapter. Thank you, my miserable muse! You are the greatest friend this fic has! Without you, this fic would not exist! And yes, it hurt so bad, both Sakura and inner Sakura screamed.


	33. Sasuke's Secret, and Dead Poet Society

High School Trauma

Full Summary: Sakura thought this would be just another boring, average school year. However,

the arrival of a few new students makes that quite impossible…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related to it, nor any of the brand names for

foods/clothes/ect. Only any of the relatively insignificant original characters I might use for filler

characters, and maybe a few of the places I may put in here.

-Key to dialogue-

"" Talking

'_' Thinking_

"**" Inner-self talking through outer self**

'_**' **_'_** Inner-self thinking**_

* * *

~~XoXoX~~

* * *

Silence filled the room, permeated only by the occasional sound of the shifting of clothing as Sasuke fiddled around in his closet. It was a day off, so the boys had decided to hold a meeting to determine their next course of action in the war effort against Sakura. They had eventually settled into meeting at the Uchiha's home. And so, here they were. Neji sat in a meditative pose, his elbow braced against one knee as he held his chin with the cupped palm of that hand, his brow furrowed, mouth somewhere between a frown and an actual pout. Gaara, teeming with frustration, straddled a desk chain backward, his seafoam eyes glaring at nothing in particular as he thought.

"So... does anyone have an idea?" Neji asked, shattering the heavy silence.  
Gaara raised his hand, receiving a nod.

"Kill her." Neji sighed.

"For the last time, we can't do that." He rubbed his temples a bit, then turned his gaze to the open closet door as the Uchiha stepped out. He had changed clothing, and now sported a dark blue half-tee that exposed just the right amount of his abs. A leather belt bearing an abstract red and black pattern adorned his waist, holding up a pair of form-fitting, tight denim jeans that had loose chains trailing from each pocket to somewhere below his knees. He had thrown on a white jacket vest that zipped, with loose chains joining the two sides so that the vest would not open too far when unzipped, though he left the vest unzipped. The back of the vest was decorated with a Japanese dragon rendered to appear like a black and purple ink painting. He topped himself off with a black muffler, wrapped loosely around his neck, the ends dangling haphazardly and reaching down to about his waist.

"Uh... what?" Sasuke asked as he admired himself in the mirror. He assumed his most emo pose, and a smirk creeped onto his face as he was apparently pleased with the reflected image.

"...Pinky. Revenge. Idea." Gaara supplied helpfully, his ire at the Uchiha evidenced by the slight growl in his speech. Neji nodded his affirmation.

"Oh that. Not a clue. But don't I just look absolutely _fabulous_?" He asked as he turned back to his partners in war. His question was greeted with silence. Twin gazes that were both annoyed and just slightly creeped out stared back at him. "...What?"

"...What the fuck? Dude..."  
"...Are you queer?" Neji finished. Sasuke glared at them, growling low in his throat.

"Hell no!" He hissed lividly. "I'm not gay!" Both boys seemed to breath a sigh of relief. "...I'm bi." He huffed. Neji's eyebrow rose to his hairline, and Gaara's brow furrowed, and Sasuke gave a grunt, flipping his hair. "...There IS a difference." The boy's expressions became doubtful for a moment, and then carefully blanked as both gradually inched away from the Uchiha. "Psh. The hell you back away for? I could do MUCH better than either of you. You're not my types, anyway." And with that, the newly discovered fairy proudly strutted away from the profoundly disturbed and vaguely insulted pair, unaware of the section of toilet paper that trailed from the bottom of his boot.

~~XoXoX~~

Itachi sipped his tea as he waited patiently in the basement of his home for the others to arrive. Today would be their first meeting, so perhaps there would be some late arrivals. His gaze rose to the doorway at the top of the stairs as it opened, brighter lights from the room behind it shining through as someone stepped in. The arrival shut the door, and made his way down the steps.

"So, how the fuck are you, seriously?" Hidan asked, flashing a smirk. "This "Dead Poet Society" thing is gonna be a real fuckin' blast, right?" He dropped a large black garbage bag onto the floor, and it made a wet noise as it hit. Itachi's eyebrow rose imperceptibly.

"Hidan. You are dripping with blood." Itachi pointed out, gesturing at the blood on his clothes and the small puddles his footsteps left behind. "...What on earth were you doing?" Hidan smirked, proud of himself, kissing the pedant he wore.

"I rounded up the other members of the club, of course. Seriously. You should be fuckin' grateful." Itachi's eyebrow rose another fraction of an inch, and his elbows came to rest on the small table in front of him, his chin coming to rest on his hands as he interlaced his fingers, his gaze unwavering as he regarded the sadistic Jashinist.

"...Hidan... You did know that the Dead Poet Society is not actually supposed to be _dead_, didn't you...?"

"...Aw fuck."


End file.
